


Yugyeom One-Shots

by JellybeanSweet



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, One Shot Collection
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-13
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:15:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27548932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JellybeanSweet/pseuds/JellybeanSweet
Summary: Taking requests for Yugyeom-centric one-shots, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.Just comment an idea and I'll get to it when I can! :)
Relationships: BamBam & Choi Youngjae & Im Jaebum & Kim Yugyeom & Park Jinyoung & Mark Tuan & Jackson Wang, Kim Yugyeom/Everyone, Kim Yugyeom/Park Jinyoung
Comments: 56
Kudos: 112





	1. Requests

I wanted to write about hurt/comfort for Yugyeom, so I'm taking requests for other people's ideas.  
If you have an idea, feel free comment and I will get to it ASAP. :)  
I will continue to take requests for however long, and I will update whenever I get time to do so, which will hopefully not take me forever.  
I'm willing to write any pairing with Yugyeom as long as they're from GOT7, although I do like writing him with Jinyoung and/or Jaebeom the most. I can also write other kpop idols, but I can't guarantee I'll nail the personalities.  
There is only one rule! It must be Yugyeom-centric! I'm willing to do physical hurt, mental hurt, angst, etc., as long as it's centered on Yugyeom. I'm also willing to do some fluff, but honestly hurt/comfort is fun to write so if you've got an idea I'd love to hear it.


	2. Church AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Church AU requested by [beliii](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beliii/pseuds/beliii)
> 
> The gist of it: Yugyeom plays the organ for his church and Jinyoung's new to the church. Yugyeom's afraid of being gay, and Jinyoung isn't. Mark's the pastors son, BamBam's his brother, and Youngjae, Jackson, and Jaebeom all sing along to Yugyeom's organ music.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this turned out the way you wanted it to, it actually didn't take me as long as I thought it was going to. I tried to make it around the length you wanted, I believe it's about 7.5k give or take a couple hundred from when I was editing.
> 
> Thank you to Marie for being my beta. Love you b.

Yugyeom hummed softly as he played the keys of the organ. He’s in the middle of a song when he hears the screech of a microphone and jolts, accidentally pressing the wrong keys, feet kicking the wrong pedals below him. 

“Ah! Hyung, please,” Yugyeom groaned, turning to see Jaebeom fiddling around with the setting on the microphone control panel. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just go back to playing Yugyeom-ah.”

Yugyeom frowned, eyebrows drawn down in annoyance. Nonetheless, the boy turned back to the organ and picked up where he had left off. To be honest, he didn’t much care for playing the organ. He’d first learned to play the piano when he was younger, something that had been joyful and a positive experience. His mother then learned their church needed an organ player, because the one they had was getting too old and the arthritis in the woman’s hands was getting bad. Yugyeom learned the organ with the same enthusiasm as the piano. His mother had then hired a teacher for him; she hired an expensive, religious, traditional teacher who had hit his knuckles with a ruler every time he’d messed up and kept him long after practice was supposed to be over to go over basics he’d long since learned and kept him from school and friends. He’d been consumed by learning the organ, and now, as a sixteen year old kid, the organ was his only friend. He took lessons, but his teacher had changed because he’d outgrown her skills. He’d gotten better than her, and that was a triumph enough. 

Yugyeom hit a few more keys, the music he played flowing softly around him. He wasn’t playing anything different or difficult, just smooth and soft tones for only Jaebeom to hear. He heard his hyung grunt in frustration and he stopped playing. 

“Is something wrong, hyung?” Yugyeom asked, turning around to see not only Jaebeom, but also Jackson and Youngjae had shown up as well. Jackson waved at him, Jaebeom grunted again, and Youngjae just ignored him.

“Oh, hi guys,” the youngest greeted, a bit flustered they’d come in without him noticing. 

“Practice started ten minutes ago, where have you two been?” Jaebeom asked. 

“It seems like it doesn’t matter because you still haven’t hooked up the mics,” Jackson laughed, kneeling down to help Jaebeom.

“I’ll kick you,” Jaebeom scoffed.

Youngjae rolled his eyes and made his way to Yugyeom. He handed him a sheet of paper, some music printed onto it.

“Do you think you could play this for me? I have to record something for my music teacher and I want you to play the background music for me.”

“Oh,” Yugyeom said, taking the music from the older, “yeah, I think so. I’ll try it while you guys set up. We can record it after practice if you’d like?”

“Yeah, sure, thanks Yugyeom.” The older gave him a wide smile and Yugyeom nodded. 

Yugyeom played some of the first starting notes, familiarizing himself with the sound and the rhythm. He could vaguely hear the three boys in the background singing and finally getting the mics on. He could hear them warming up their voices, getting ready to practice the songs they were supposed to sing in the upcoming church service.

Eventually Yugyeom put away the music Youngjae had given him and put the music for the service in order. 

“You guys ready?” Yugyeom asked, turning around on the seat to look at the other three boys. 

“Yeah, we’re just gonna practice harmonies,” Jaebeom hummed, “so if you want to listen or be on your phone it’s fine. We just need you to not play.”

“Sure,” Yugyeom nodded, gesturing for them to go ahead. He listened to them sing, a beautiful mesh of three different voices. They sounded amazing together, and sometimes Yugyeom wondered what he’d sound like with them, but it was probably safer to just play the music instead. 

They finished after a while, and everyone agreed it was time to add Yugyeom’s playing. 

They started with the warmups together, and eventually moved on to the real thing. They practiced for a while, until Youngjae stopped insisting they do it again because he wanted to make sure he’d get his solo down, and decided it was time for a short break before one last shot at everything in the order they’d be playing it for the next church service.

Yugyeom turned on his bench and bent down to his backpack to get some water. When he sat back up, the others had gathered by their bags, and thus closer to Yugyeom, and were drinking water and checking their phones. The door to the practice room swung open, revealing two guys, one of which Yugyeom had seen and one he had not. 

“Hey guys,” Mark, the one Yugyeom knew, called out to him. He was the son of the pastor that did most of the sermons. Every person who attended this church knew who Mark was; as the teens at school mockingly said, he was handsome enough for even the girls to try and sin.

“Ah, Mark-hyung,” Jackson called, “what are you doing here?” He took a gulp of water, shifted so he was propped up on one arm. 

“Well, I was actually going to introduce you guys to a new kid. This is Park Jinyoung, my dad said he was interested in joining your trio, so I thought I’d have him meet you guys.”

“Trio?” Jaebeom asked, shooting a look at Yugyeom, who still sat hunched on the bench. 

“Oh, right, sorry, Yugyeomie,” Mark smiled sheepishly at the youngest, “a quartet. He wanted to join the three of you that sing. That’s what I mean.”

“It’s okay,” Yugyeom replied, though he doubted Mark heard him. His eyes were on the other guy. He felt a weird tingling in his stomach zip of his spine and flourish in his head. 

“Anyway,” Mark continued, finally gesturing to the guy who stood beside him, “this is Park Jinyoung, like I said. He’s interested in singing with you guys.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Jackson grinned, and Youngjae pouted a bit. 

“Why don’t you come sing something?” Jaebeom offered, gesturing to a microphone.

“Sure. Got any music?”

“Sing anything up there. Yugyeom can play with you, if you’d like,” Jackson offered. 

“Let’s go with the third hymn on the list,” Jinyoung stated after looking through them. He looked up to Yugyeom, who was still watching him, mesmerized. 

“Yugyeom-ah,” Jaebeom snapped, “third hymn.”

“Right, right, I’m sorry,” Yugyeom flushed, turning around, “I’ll play the intro and you come in after 4 measures.”

“Alright,” Jinyoung replied. Yugyeom played and Jinyoung sang like he truly had the voice of an angel. It was soft and all Yugyeom could use to describe it otherwise was relaxing. 

Jinyoung stopped singing and Yugyeom finished the last few measures of the hymn. 

“Wow, Jinyoung-ssi,” Mark applauded, “you’re quite good.”

“Thanks, Mark-ssi,” Jinyoung bowed a little in thanks. 

“Come on, let’s formally introduce everybody here. First off is the oldest of the four, Lim Jaebeom. He’s been here the longest, and also writes some songs in his free time. His lyrics are wonderful,” Mark introduced, dragging Yugyeom to meet the man so they could greet one another. 

“Next is Jackson Wang. He moved from Hong Kong a while back. He’s really loud, but you’ll probably learn to like it.” The eldest laughed, causing a smile to erupt from Jackson’s lips. 

“The last singer is our very own Choi Youngjae. He’s got most of the solos and has a fantastic voice. He’s also got the disposition of the sun, so I doubt you’ll see him upset very often. Just wait till you hear him laugh, then you’re a goner.” Youngjae smiled brightly, and Yugyeom could see that Jinyoung understood when Mark had said he had the disposition of the sun. 

“And finally, our one and only organ player, save old Ms. Lee and her arthritic fingers, is Kim Yugyeom. He’s the youngest of this bunch and very much a sweet kid, and it’s easy to embarrass him, so keep that in mind when you need to laugh at somebody.”

“Ah, hyung, that’s mean,” Yugyeom complained, a little hurt. Sure, he knew Mark probably didn’t mean anything by it, but he really didn’t want to be embarrassed with Jinyoung around. Something about him made Yugyeom want to show off, even if just a little. The thought doesn’t leave his mind, and he feels wrong.

“Right, anyway, Jinyoung’s gonna sign up to join you guys, so hopefully you’ll all get along. Come on, Jinyoung-ssi, I’ll find you the papers and get you added to the list.”

“It was nice to meet you all,” Jinyoung called as they walked out the door, giving them all a little bow before disappearing behind the doors.

“Let’s end practice!” Jackson clapped, not caring if Youngjae protested. 

“Ah, hyung, we’ve still got ten minutes left,” Yugyeom cringed, but even Youngjae had already started packing up. He shoved his computer into his bag along with the books he’d been complaining about having to read for class. 

“Enjoy the extra time, Yugyeomie,” Jaebeom teased, “I’m sure you’ll use it well.”

Yugyeom pouted. 

“What do you guys think about Jinyoung-ssi?” the youngest asked, wanting to know how the others felt about the newcomer. 

“I think he’s fine. He’s got a great voice, if anything,” Jaebeom relied, humoring the youngest. 

“You don’t think he’s, I dunno, distracting? Is that weird?”

“Keep your gay thoughts to yourself, Yugyeom,” Youngjae called, “this is church, after all.”

Yugyeom flushed bright red. Gay? He wasn’t gay. Gay is what schoolboys called others to tease them. Gay was bad. 

Youngjae hurried out the door, probably wanting to get home as soon as he could. His keys clacked loudly against the door as he ran out. 

“Don’t mind him, Gyeom,” Jackson sighed. He rubbed at his face, probably a little tired. 

“You know he’s only here because being the lead singer looks great on his applications, and he wants the attention. He likes being the star of the show, so ignore him,” Jaebeom continued on for Jackson. 

“Ah, sure,” Yugyeom hummed. 

“On another note, you think Jinyoung’s cute?”

Yugyeom’s face returned to the bright red color that had slowly been fading. 

“Stop it,” he hissed, trying to get rid of the thought. He couldn’t be gay, couldn’t be thinking about how pretty Jinyoung was. He didn’t need to be thinking sinfully. His mother would hit him for thinking that way.

“Whatever, Yugyeom. Don’t lie to yourself,” Jaebum rolled his eyes slinging his bag over his shoulder. He gestured for Jackson to head in front of him, as they’d come together today. As they shuffled out of the room, Yugyeom returned to the keys in front of him. He sighed, a loud breath of air leaving him, and began to play. He didn’t need to think about this right now. He could deal with it later. It was fine. It wasn’t an issue for now. Later. 

—

Yugyeom slammed his hands into the keys of the organ, an ugly sound playing on the pipes and a grunt of annoyance leaving him. He can’t get Jinyoung out of his head, and he wishes he could. Every single night since they’d been introduced, Yugyeom had been thinking about him, his voice, how nice he seemed to be. It wouldn’t end. He’d die before Jinyoung left his mind. 

“Yo, Gyeom, I don’t think breaking the organ is a good idea,” Jackson drawled, tapping a rhythm on his knee, the mic listlessly being held by his other hand. 

“Sorry,” the youngest immediately apologized, feeling bad. He’d forgotten that the others were even in the room with him. 

“Are you okay?” Jaebeom asked a while later, after Yugyeom had played a random, sad-sounding tune. 

“I don’t know, I just don’t feel right. Is that weird? It started when Jinyoung-ssi got here.” The youngest hesitated to say more. What if they thought he was disgusting or didn’t deserve to be at church? Church was the only place his mom would let him be alone other than school, and he was hardly ever actually alone. 

“Yugyeom, we aren’t in a group therapy session, I swear,” Youngjae sniffed. He rolled his eyes.

“What’s up your ass?” Jaebeom sniped.

“Hyung! We’re at church!” Yugyeom squealed, but Youngjae just rolled his eyes and Jaebeom waved him off. To his credit, Jackson gave Yugyeom a sympathetic look, but Yugyeom was too scandalized listening to his hyungs argue. 

“Nothing, I just don’t want to listen to you girls talk about your feelings. I’m trying to sing. If you’re not going to practice, I’m going to leave,” Youngjae replied, already packing. 

“Go ahead,” Jackson sighed, “because apparently we are a group therapy session.”

Youngjae finished gathering his things and left the room, probably eager to get home. 

“Like I said last time, Yugyeom-ah, he’s just being bitchy.”

“Hyung, please stop swearing, we’re at church,” Yugyeom protested. Jaebeom just shrugged, not caring at all. 

“Besides, so what if you think about Jinyoung?”

“But that’s not right,” Yugyeom frowned, slumping against the organ, “my mom says being gay is a sin. I can’t sin.”

Jackson and Jaebeom sighed. 

“Look, Gyeom, Jackson and I aren’t exactly straight either, and so what if you like a guy?”

“That’s not how it works! You don’t even like it here, hyung, you don’t follow the rules. You aren’t devout. You’re just here because it’ll look good on applications and you have access to a studio. You even swear in church, hyung. Of course you don’t believe being gay is a sin.”

“It’s not,” Jackson agreed. Yugyeom just shook his head.

“My dad would kill me.”

The two older men shared a quick glance and shot the youngest a sympathetic look. Jaebeom spoke up. 

“Either way, Yugyeom, you’re gonna have to get it together. Jinyoung’s joining practices from now on. He’s going to be here every single practice starting next week. He’ll be singing, maybe even playing piano, who knows. What we do know is that he’ll be here, so gay or not, you have to deal with him being around you all the time.”

The color drained from Yugyeom’s face quickly. 

“Next week?”

“Yup,” Jackson nodded, popping the ‘p’. 

“In other words, next practice,” Jaebeom grinned. 

They left Yugyeom to sit there and think about their words. He dropped his head into his hands and took a deep, suffering sigh. This was going to be awful. 

—

Jinyoung was extremely distracting. His voice was new, so the boys had to work on adding him into the songs. They practiced harmonizing and hitting the same tones together, and all the while Yugyeom could only sit and stare. He had nothing better to do. He’d done his homework already, when they’d first started doing this, and had long since finished. They didn’t want him tonal because it was too loud and distracting, so all he had left to do was listen and watch. So far, Yugyeom’s eyes hadn’t left Jinyoung once.

“Gyeom-ah,” Jackson said, snapping his fingers, and Yugyeom jerked back to reality.

“Yes?” the youngest startled. 

“Do you want to just go home? I think we’re going to continue working on singing today, and it’ll be weird to have you playing right away. We want to try songs together that you don’t listen to, anyway.”

“Oh, uh… I’m okay here.”

“That was more of a request for you to leave,” Youngjae explained. 

“Oh. Well, as much as I would love to go home, hyungs, my car’s being fixed, so I can’t leave.”

“Why don’t you just go practice in the sanctuary? With the bigger organ? We can stay here and you can play your music,” Jinyoung suggested. 

“That’s a good idea,” Jaebeom accepted. Yugyeom swallowed harshly and nodded in silence. He packed up his music and the homework he’d left strewn about. He shuffled out of the practice room, both embarrassed and confused. He wanted to stay, but he supposed he was a distraction? Maybe his staring was too obvious. 

He made his way to the sanctuary, up and to the actual organ he played during the services. It was tucked in the corner, which Yugyeom appreciated as he wasn’t a huge fan of people watching him play, but he enjoyed it nonetheless. He sat down, grabbing his music out of his bag and placing it on the stand. He practiced for a while, but the longer it went on the more bored he got. He took out his phone, wanting to look up some other music he might be able to play, but he didn’t know what to do. As much as he loved to play, he didn’t often listen to music. 

Eventually he found some random song he thought his mom might have mentioned some time and practiced that for a while, then eventually turned back to the service songs. It helped him pass the time long enough for him to stay occupied until his mom sent him a text saying she was on her way. 

He gathered his things and was getting ready to wait for her outside when he realized he’d forgotten his laptop back in the practice room. He hurried back, opening the door wide to see Mark, his little brother BamBam, and Jinyoung all still in the room. They looked like they were arguing about something, or at least disagreeing. BamBam had been in the middle of saying something when Yugyeom opened the door.

“Oh, uh, I’m sorry,” he apologized. He bowed his head and hurried in, grabbing his laptop as fast as he could before rushing back out. As he closed the door behind him, he heard BamBam saying something about fairies. Yugyeom wondered what that had to do with anything relevant. 

—

“Alright, guys, why don’t we take a quick break?” Jackson sighed, bending back and cracking his back. 

“I’m down,” Youngjae agreed, sitting down and grabbing his water bottle. 

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom,” Yugyeom announced, making his way from his bench and to the door. He made his way down the hall, heading to the bathroom. He headed in and used the restroom. As he washed his hands and dried them off he sighed softly, thinking about everything going on. Jinyoung confused him. 

Yugyeom sighed and threw the towel away. He shuffled his way back to the practice room only to find a completely different scene then when he left. Jackson, Jaebeom, and Youngjae had completely disappeared from the practice room. Jinyoung was still there, and had apparently been joined by both Mark and BamBam. Yugyeom got a strange feeling in his gut, like this was simply a continuation of the conversation he’d overhead last time. 

“BamBam, you are ignorant if you think homophobia is not rampant in Christianity and churches. If you don’t accept the lgbt community in churches, then what’s the point of God being accepting of everybody? What’s the point of saying you’re inclusive?” Jinyoung said, exasperated.

“I’m not saying the church isn’t inclusive!” BamBam snapped back. He crossed his arms over his chest. 

“But that’s exactly what you’re saying!”

“Guys, please,” Mark protested, louder than either of them. His eyes flicked over to Yugyeom, then back to the two in front of him. 

BamBam glared at his brother. 

“Let’s not argue about this in church. This is a matter we should talk about elsewhere. Arguing is not to be done in a place of worship,” Mark continued. 

“If your little brother actually got a brain, we wouldn’t need to be arguing over anything right now,” Jinyoung glared back at BamBam.

“Clearly you haven’t read the Bible,” BamBam snapped back. Jinyoung looked like he was about to lose it. 

“Guys!” Mark yelled, his voice ringing in Yugyeom’s ears.

Mark’s loud voice commanded attention from everybody. 

“Now is not the time. BamBam, go find something to do that’s not harassing the best performers this church has ever had,” Mark ordered. Clearly reluctantly, BamBam left the room. As he passed Yugyeom, he swore under his breath. 

Jinyoung didn’t get a word out before Mark lifted a finger.

“You were arguing as well, and you were focused on escalating the situation. This once, I’m not going to tell my dad about your tendency to argue because I respect what you were saying, but this cannot be a regular occurance,” Mark said, words solid.

“Thanks, hyung.”

“Sure. Whatever. I have my reasons,” Mark said, and then he turned towards Yugyeom and continued on, “Yugyeom-ah, I’m sorry you had to watch front row seats to Jinyoung and BamBam arguing.”

“Uh, don’t worry about it hyung.” Yugyeom smiled weakly.

“If you’re wondering where the rest of the group went, I’m pretty sure they said they were ordering food and would come back once it gets delivered,” Jinyoung mentioned offhandedly. 

“Right,” Yugyeom nodded. The younger watched Jinyoung as he went back and forth between the microphone he used and the amp, obviously thinking of something to say. Mark just stood still arms crossed over his chest, looking more frustrated than anything. 

Yugyeom fidgeted, the argument repeating in his mind. The church was supposed to be inclusive, wasn’t it? If god had meant for homosexuals to go to hell, why had he created them? God was supposed to do everything for a purpose, to help his greatest creation flourish, so if he intended for those who liked people of the same gender, then why did they exist?

“I’ll go wait with the others,” Yugyeom mumbled, hurrying out the door. He left it open a crack and stood beside the door. He wanted to listen. Maybe then this would all make more sense. 

“Jinyoung-ah, I know BamBam is infuriating, but he’s still my younger brother,” Mark sighed, and Yugyeom heard some rustling from inside. 

“Why do you put up with him, Mark-hyung? He doesn’t believe people like us should be accepted.”

People like us? What was that supposed to mean?

“He just doesn’t understand yet. And I’m not gay.”

“I didn’t say gay, hyung, but the way you, Jackson, and Jaebeom look at one another says a lot. And yeah, I know you like girls, which is just fine.”

“It’s just hard to accept it. My dad’s the pastor here. Where do I go if he doesn’t accept me?”

“It doesn’t matter if he accepts you right now. You need to accept yourself first. Besides, hyung, if it comes down to it, you’re welcome to come find my mother and I. She’ll accept you for who you are, as anyone should do.”

“I don’t understand how you do it, Jinyoung.”

“Do what, exactly?”

“Well, be gay? That sounds strange, but I just can’t believe how comfortable you are. It’s quite a shock for me to see.”

“It took me a long time to be comfortable, hyung. I won’t get into it, but it was really hard. A lot of how I’ve become comfortable was my mom, and talking to her about how I felt. Besides that, it was accepting myself for who I was, and not trying to hide from myself. I needed to accept I was gay to be comfortable, even if I had to change it from others.”

Yugyeom was jerked away from the door when he heard the voices of Jaebeom, Jackson, and Youngjae coming closer. He adjusted his posture and watched them walk into view with a couple pizza boxes. 

“Hey Gyeom-ah, we got food,” Jackson cheered, definitely loud enough for Mark and Jinyoung to hear inside the practice room. Yugyeom nodded and opened the door for them when they got closer. 

When Yugyeom finally got back inside the practice room, he spotted Jinyoung and Mark quietly talking to one another. Jinyoung’s eyes flicked up to meet his own, and Yugyeom looked away, a little flushed. 

Yugyeom grabbed a piece of pizza and quietly ate away from the others. He didn’t know how to feel right now. Were Jinyoung and Mark both gay? Mark said he wasn’t, but Jinyoung kept talking about accepting himself. 

Yugyeom shook his head and continued to eat his pizza.

—

It was weeks since Jinyoung began to practice with the quartet, making them a quintet. They were getting into the groove of things and learning to get along with each other. Despite this, Yugyeom still struggled some days to keep it together. 

Yugyeom messed up a chord and flinched when he heard Jaebeom’s angry huff coming through the sound system. 

“I swear to god, Yugyeom,” Jaebeom growled, and Yugyeom flinched again. He didn’t like his hyung taking the Lord's name in vain, but he kept his mouth shut and didn’t say a word. 

“Will you get it right this time?” Jackson asked, sounding tired. 

“Sorry,” Yugyeom meekly replied. He went over the line again, playing the correct cord this time, but it still didn’t seem to satisfy the others. He could tell they were angry, all of them, and he felt like even Jinyoung seemed to be a bit annoyed at him. He’d been making tons of mistakes today, way more than usual, and it was messing up the rest of them. 

They went over the verse again, and although Yugyeom finally got it correct, it still didn’t feel like he’d accomplished anything. He almost felt sick because of how guilty he felt. He was wasting time, all because he couldn’t focus. It wasn’t just Jinyoung this time; he had tests coming up and his parents were pressuring him extremely hard, he had projects due and playing assignments to complete and it was all spiraling down into whatever this mess was. It was spiraling into him being bad at the only thing he thought he had a talent for. It certainly didn’t help with what he’d overheard a while ago about Jinyoung and Mark. He’d been in inner turmoil for weeks. 

In full honesty, Yugyeom felt like he was going to cry. It was becoming an issue. His eyes were getting more watery every time he messed up and if he kept messing up, he was sure to be crying on the keys of the organ. He was so stressed and this wasn’t helping him relax in any way. 

The youngest shakily took a breath and hit the next note, glad it was supposed to be long and drawn out so he could take the time to relax. They continued on, the occasional mistake happening, but when they got to the end it just wasn’t enough to satisfy the hyungs. 

“Okay, you know what, Yugyeom? If you’re not going to try, I’m going to leave. I don’t have the time, nor do I have the patience to deal with this today,” Jaebeom finally snapped. He shoved the mic into its holder and yanked his backpack from the floor. He stormed off and slammed the door open hard enough for it to hit the outside wall and bounce back. Yugyeom sat, stunned. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to contain himself. 

“Sorry, Yugyeom-ah. If Jaebeom isn’t here there isn’t much of a reason to stick around,” Youngjae mumbled, “he’s got a solo next service and we can’t practice the songs without his voice.” 

Youngjae shuffled away from the mic stand as well, though much calmer and slower in comparison to what Jaebeom had just done, but in Yugyeom’s mind it was lightning fast. Jackson soon followed, then Jinyoung also began to pack up his things. Yugyeom felt more like a failure than he did when his parents didn’t show up to his piano recitals when he was younger. Watching his friends, well, rather acquaintances, pack up and leave him because of what a horrible job he was doing dug deep into his chest and hollowed it out for room for desperate emotions. A strange feeling of emptiness and embarrassment filled him as he watched the rest of the group file out of the room silently. What a disgrace he was, especially right at this moment. He took another deep breath and shakily let it out. 

Yugyeom returned to the keys and took a few short breaths. If he could just play something to get his mind off of things, he would be forever grateful to god. 

“Please, God, keep my mind clear of all sin, for I wish to one day achieve paradise in the heavens,” the youngest prayed quietly, willing away his thoughts of Jinyoung and all other sins. He closed off his prayer with an ‘amen’, but felt like he’d left much unsaid. 

He cracked open his eyes again, a little wet and puffy. He shifted around on the bench and lifted his hands to the keyboard and feet to the pedals. He played just a few notes at first, getting the sounds in his head. His fingers stroked the keys, debating between one or the other before eventually pressing down. He wanted to just play how he felt, a sad and desolate little melody to lift the weight on his chest, even if just for a few moments. He struggled for just a moment to find the keys he wanted but then he got them and didn’t let go, playing beautifully mixed chord after chord, sounding more macabre than he had ever played before. It was almost scary to listen to himself play, but he needed the moment. It made him feel a bit better, even if just for the time being.

Yugyeom sighed, focusing less and just pressing keys he knew sounded nice in a chain. It turned a bit fluttery, a little hopeful, but he went back down to the lower notes and continued to play on. 

The noise of the door closing loudly startled Yugyeom out of his head. He jerked up and snapped to look at the door; Jinyoung stood there, backpack slung over a single shoulder, hip slightly jutted out, but all the same looking rather nonjudgmental. 

“Oh, uh, hi,” Yugyeom muttered, hands falling from the keys. 

“Don’t mind me,” Jinyoung told him, “I just came back before I forgot my notebook, but I heard you playing so I’ve tried to stay quiet and listen. Please, keep going, I’ll just grab it and go.”

Yugyeom nodded, a little flustered. He was so handsome it almost hurt. His chest ached a bit as he watched him cross the room. He’d even tried to stay quiet. 

Yugyeom turned back to the organ, scared the older man was going to catch him staring. His face was hot from being caught playing alone, but Jinyoung didn’t say much of anything about it. Yugyeom did a repetition of a few keys with one hand and played a melody with the other, going with what felt good. He kind of felt like he was playing piano with the keys he was pressing, but it sounded nice either way. 

Yugyeom sniffled softly, eyes still wet from earlier. He was still upset, and even though having Jinyoung around was somehow making him feel a bit better, Yugyeom was still both overwhelmed and embarrassed. He felt a few tears drip out of his eyes as he took a deep breath. He slowed his playing and eventually stopped, slumping over the keys. The quiet seemed louder than the pipes that made the music he’d been playing. 

“Yugyeom-ssi, will you come sit with me for a moment?” Jinyoung asked. The younger looked up to see the man situated on the piano bench, poised like he was going to play. He moved his head back as if to call for Yugyeom to come closer and the younger supposed he didn’t have much of a choice if he wanted to try and get to know Jinyoung. He tried to wipe away some of the stray tears as he shuffled over to the bench. Jinyoung patted the seat next to him, giving him some room to sit on the edge, and once Yugyeom was settled Jinyoung began to play a piece on the piano. 

Jinyoung played for a while, just letting Yugyeom sit beside him. It was soothing and not as sad as Yugyeom’s notes had been. As he played a relaxing melody, he spoke up for the first time. 

“You know, Yugyeom-ah,” Jinyoung hummed, taking care to not look at Yugyeom but make sure the boy was listening, “music has helped me get through a lot in my life.”

He didn’t elaborate, not yet. He was waiting for Yugyeom to ask him. He didn’t want to overwhelm him. 

They sat for a little longer. 

“Like what?” Yugyeom finally asked. He again wiped at his face, the cuffs of his sweater darkened from the wetness of his tears. He sniffed, a wet sound; his face flushed from the noise he’d made, but he stayed out. 

“It gave me something to focus on when my dad died. I didn’t have much, just my mother and my sisters and I, so I turned to learning the piano. It calms me down, and I can create something beautiful with it. Though my sisters are both out of the house now, it reminds me of them.”

“Ah,” Yugyeom says, like he understands. He kind of does, but he has so much baggage that coincides with playing music that he’s not sure how to feel about it all the time. 

“After my dad's death, I didn’t want to do anything to upset my mother. I hid in my room every day, practicing piano and avoiding any strange thoughts. It was music that helped me get through learning my sexuality. I hope you understand that everybody deserves to love who they wish, no matter the gender or anything else of the sort.”

“I’m not gay,” Yugyeom whispered. 

“I never said you were, Yugyeom-ah. I’m just telling you what I am.”

Yugyeom said nothing, and Jinyoung continued. 

“But I was terrified to tell my mother how I felt about myself and others. I didn’t want to disappoint her, so I hid. Back then, I would do anything for my mother, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness. I’m sure you know what that feels like, don’t you?”

Jinyoung didn’t leave time for the younger to respond. He powered through. 

“You would do anything to keep your parents happy, even if it means hiding away and keeping a secret. I learned that our parents are not always going to be correct in their beliefs, and although I have much respect for my mother, I am not willing to give up my own life to ensure she believes I share the same thoughts as her. Does any of this make sense to you, Yugyeom-ah?”

When Yugyeom didn’t respond, Jinyoung paused his playing and pulled his hands away from the piano. 

“Anyway, I just think you should think about what you want, not what your parents want. My mom accepted me for who I am, and I want to pass that on and tell you I accept you for whoever you want to be.”

He stood up, off the bench, and began to gather his things. 

“I’ll see you later, Yugyeom-ah,” he murmured, ruffling Yugyeom’s hair as he passed him on his way out the door. He opened the door and stepped through, closing it behind him quiet enough for Yugyeom to hardly hear it click. 

Yugyeom swallowed and wiped at the tears on his face. He hiccuped, wiping again, more desperate this time. He curled over the keys of the piano, hiding his face in his arms, and cried. He was confused and overwhelmed, but maybe Jinyoung’s words had broken something inside him. Maybe Yugyeom would listen. 

—

Yugyeom was playing beautifully. The sound of the pipes was almost euphoric, tones gorgeous in the air as they rang. He was happier, and today simply felt like it was a good day.

There was something about the blend of the voices of Jaebeom, Jackson, Jinyoung, and Youngjae that just worked so well. It was like the air itself was simply lighter. 

It had been a week since Jinyoung and Yugyeom spoke to one another. They didn’t have practice because of exams and busy schedules, so today was the first day they’d seen each other again. The practice had started out a little tense, but as they’d actually begun to play together, something had just gotten calming. They’d laughed together, shared stupid stories about what had happened in the past week, and the tension had melted from everybody. Jaebeom had even apologized, which was something Yugyeom didn’t get to say happened very often. It was nice. 

“So, anybody have any fun songs they want to play instead of practice? I think we’re good on all of these songs since we’ve at least played them a good twenty times,” Jackson suggested. He practically pranced over to Yugyeom and pressed a random key on the organ. Yugyeom slapped his hand away. 

“Why don’t you play something on the piano, Jinyoung? I don’t think we’ve heard you play anything before,” Youngjae suggested, taking a sip of water and throwing back a few pills to stave off a sore throat he knew he usually got around this time of year. 

“Sure. Anything in mind? I can look up the sheet music on my phone.”

Everyone started listing off suggestions and Jinyoung looked a few of them up to play. This went on for about ten minutes, them listening to Jinyoung play and belting out the words to go along. Yugyeom watched with fond eyes. This felt good. It felt better than last week. He felt a little more content now, more relaxed and a little more understanding of himself. 

They eventually figured it was time to go, packing up and leaving with claps on the back and unusual excitement. It was strange, but something about today just made everybody feel better. Last week had been bad, but thanks to the time to relax and get tests taken care of, projects turned in, and time to think, it was like everybody had reverted to their happy selves. Nobody was mad or angry, nobody struggling. 

Yugyeom noticed Jinyoung was heading for the door and he knew he wanted to talk to the older about something. 

“Jinyoung-hyung, will you stay for a moment? I want to talk to you about something,” Yugyeom asked sweetly, a soft smile playing on his lips.

“Sure. Is something wrong?” He came closer, only a few feet away from Yugyeom. 

“No, not really. I just… hm. I wanted to thank you for last week. Sincerely. I was having a rough day, my mind was all over the place, and I was extremely stressed. You helped me take time to think about what was going on, and gave me a perspective I hadn’t seen from before. So, thank you, really. I think it helped a bit.”

“That’s good. I’m happy.”

“I… I’m not sure how I feel about… well, you know, but it scares me a little. I’m just… I think I’m really scared, especially about my parents.”

“That’s alright. It’s completely understandable to be scared. Listen, Yugyeom-ah, why don’t we get out of this room, then? Come with me and we can go get some coffee or something, let’s just get out of here. Away from the church, just for today.”

“Ah, I’m not supposed to leave without asking my mom first.”

“How long do you have until you’re supposed to be home?”

“Well, until whenever I text her I’m coming home. It always varies after practice, so I text her when I’m coming back.”

“Well, you’ll be going home after we get drinks. I’ll drive us to a coffee shop, then I can drive you back here and you can go home. You won’t be lying when you say you’re coming home from church.”

Yugyeom thought about it for a moment. 

“Yeah, I’m okay with that. Lead the way, hyung. I don’t know where the nearest coffee shop is.”

They packed up the rest of Yugyeom’s things together and then walked out the doors of the practice room. Yugyeom threw his things in his car and then followed Jinyoung to the older man’s car. They got in together and Jinyoung started it, the radio softly playing pop music. 

It was quiet, save the radio, as Jinyoung drove to a coffee shop. He parked the car much nicer than either of Yugyeom’s parents did, which Yugyeom told the older, making him laugh. It was a heavenly sight. 

“So, Yugyeom-ah, what do you normally get when you order at a coffee shop?”

“Well, to be honest, hyung, I don’t really like coffee, but I really love chocolate, so if they have anything that’s basically all chocolate, I’m probably going to get it.”

“Ah, Yugyeomie, that’s so cute,” Jinyoung grinned, shuffling up to the register after the person in front of him paid and left. Yugyeom flushed a bright red, though it was mostly hidden by the flush of his cheeks from the cold.

“Yugyeom, what are you going to order? I’m paying,” Jinyoung asked, turning around.

“Oh, uh. Let’s see, I think I’ll do an iced choco?” he asked, smiling at the cashier.

“Sure. What size?” 

“Medium is fine, please.”

“White, milk, or dark chocolate?”

“Ohh, let’s do milk please.”

The girl nodded. She rattled off the total and Jinyoung swiped his card. He thanked her and turned to look at Yugyeom, who had a little smile on his face, still scanning the menu. 

“You got an iced choco?” Jinyoung asked, looking amused enough for Yugyeom to notice. 

“That’s not bad, is it?” Yugyeom pouted. Jinyoung felt his stomach erupt into butterflies.

“No,” he smiled, “not at all. It’s good.” Yugyeom gave him a crooked smile. 

They didn’t have to wait very long. Jinyoung got his hot drink, Yugyeom didn’t hear what he’d gotten so he had no idea what it was, and then they called Yugyeom’s drink and he grabbed it from the countertop. He took a little sip and it was like his eyes sparkled from the excitement. 

“This is so good,” Yugyeom groaned, taking another sip. Jinyoung laughed, covering his mouth a bit. He held the door for Yugyeom and then followed him out, heading back to the car. It was a little chilly outside but not cold enough to deter Jinyoung from the idea that popped into his head. 

“Let’s go to the park. We can walk for a little bit,” 

“Sure,” Yugyeom agreed. 

Jinyoung drove them to the park and they walked around for a bit. 

“You know, hyung,” Yugyeom began as they slowly made their return to the car. They were walking on a path and were getting closer to the parking lot. The younger paused his thought and took a breath. 

“Yeah?”

“I think… I think I might like guys. Like, like them, you know? I might like guys like you…”

“And that’s okay,” Jinyoung smiled, rubbing Yugyeom’s arm.

“Yeah, and that’s okay,” Yugyeom repeated in a whisper. 

Together they got back into Jinyoung’s car. Jinyoung drove back to the church and they parked next to Yugyeom’s car. 

“Thanks for the drink, hyung. And the talk. It was really helpful.”

“I’m glad.”

Yugyeom made to get out, but didn’t yet. 

“Maybe one day,” Jinyoung began, and Yugyeom turned to look back at him, “you’ll be able to build up the courage to ask me out.”

Yugyeom flushed a little, cheeks so very pink, eyes maybe a little wet.

“Next time after practice,” Yugyeom began, voice a little quiet but Jinyoung understood every word, “we should get coffee again.”

“I think I can do that,” Jinyoung grinned. He held out his hand over the center console of the car and Yugyeom grabbed it, squeezing tight.

“I’ll see you in a few days, at practice, hyung.”

“See you then.”

Yugyeom let go of Jinyoung’s hand and slipped out of the car. He shut the door, grabbing the keys for his own car and sliding into the driver's seat. Jinyoung waved a little when Yugyeom looked back and him, to which Yugyeom waved back, and the older backed out of the parking spot and slowly drove away. 

Yugyeom looked at his driving wheel, the grin on his face uncontrollable. He laughed a little, face hot, and turned the car on. He had next practice to look forward to. He backed out of the parking space, leaving the church in his rear view mirror.


	3. The Quarantine Blues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yugyeom feels like he hasn't done enough during quarantine, the comeback is soon, and the insecurities have piled on too high for him to deal with properly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the lovely frae. This is 1/3 fics, the others I will eventually write, haha! Hope you enjoy <3  
> Again, thank you Marie for reading my 3am updates. 
> 
> SUPER IMPORTANT!  
> TW: VOMITING, UNHEALTHY EATING, UNHEALTHY COPING HABITS (snapping a rubber band on your wrist)  
> Vomiting gets really descriptive at one point, so if that bothers you, please skip reading this one-shot.

It had all started with a revelation in the bathroom, just a few months into quarantine. 

“Gyeom-ah? Where are you?” Yugyeom jolted upright from where he was sitting on the floor of the bathroom. He’d locked himself in a while ago, just to isolate himself from his brother and his dog for a while. He was feeling a bit down and being in a smaller space where he could see everything and knew where everything was helped him calm down; he would have gone to his bedroom, but Dalkyum had been sleeping so peacefully and Yugyeom didn’t want to kick the dog off his bed just to get some alone time, so he’d gone to the bathroom instead. He scrambled up, flushing the toilet to give his brother the impression he’d been using it and then washed his hands for better effect. 

“What’s up?” Yugyeom asked and he unlocked the bathroom door and stuck his head out. He left the door open behind him and walked out of the bathroom. 

“I called you to tell you dinner was ready. You good?” Euigyeom asked, looking amused more than anything. 

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you until just now. What are we having?”

“I just made some fried noodles. Not very fancy, but I was craving some and I had the stuff to make it.”

“It sounds good, anyway. I’m gonna grab my phone and I’ll come join you.”

Yugyeom headed to his room and grabbed his phone from his nightstand. As he headed back out, Dalkyum appeared in the hallway, little tail wagging as he stood in front of Yugyeom, obviously having moved from Yugyeom’s bed at some point. Yugyeom cooed and dropped his phone into the pocket of his joggers so he could pick up his puppy. 

“Dallie,” he sang happily, scratching the Pomeranian behind his ears. He made his way to the kitchen and set the dog back down when he got there, watching him go to where Euigyeom was standing at the stove.

“Hi, Dal,” Euigyeom greeted, watching the dog sit down and look up, head cocking sideways in a way of asking for a bite of the food he was finishing cooking. 

Yugyeom pulled out bowls and some chopsticks and as Euigyeom turned off the stove. He handed a bowl to his older brother and the two filled their bowls, both piled high. 

“Are you still down to watch that movie you were talking about?” Euigyeom asked, slurping up some noodles. The duo were both too engrossed in eating for much conversation. 

“Sure, hyung. Do you have any laundry you need me to do? I’m gonna throw a load into the washer after we eat.”

“I was gonna wash the towels and whatever’s in my bin in my bedroom.”

“I can do it for you since I’m already gonna do my own stuff. Plus I’ll finish eating before you, so I can throw the first load in while you clean up and we can start the movie together.”

“Sure.”

They ate in relative silence, and if Euigyeom saw Yugyeom slip Dalkyum a few noodles, he didn’t say anything. Yugyeom finished eating earlier than Euigyeom, so he washed his bowl and went to their bedrooms and the bathroom to grab all the laundry. They were lucky enough to have gotten an apartment unit that had a little laundry room tucked in the back, so he didn’t have to leave the apartment itself to go and do all the laundry. He threw the towels in first and then separated the rest of the clothing mostly by color. He made note of some clothes he needed to hang up to dry, and some back in his room he knew needed to be dry-cleaned. He left the laundry room and headed back to the kitchen to see his brother putting away the last of the noodles in the fridge. 

“Movie?” Yugyeom asked, and Euigyeom nodded. They settled on the couch together, huddled close with a huge, delightfully warm blanket, and started a movie. Dalkyum jumped up between them, putting his head on Yugyeom’s knee. Yugyeom smiled softly and scratched his head, cooing at the little dog. 

The movie eventually finished and Euigyeom headed off to bed, saying something about being tired and sore because of the intense workout he’d done earlier. Yugyeom stayed as the credits played, petting Dalkyum, who’d moved into Yugyeom’s lap during the movie and fallen asleep. 

“Ahh, Dallie, what would I do without you?” Yugyeom hummed, though it wasn’t much of a question. He sighed, the same feeling he’d gotten when he’d first gone to the bathroom returning to sit in his gut. Just a little bored, a little empty, a little bit useless. The best way to put it was that he felt like he was missing out on something. Ever since covid had first begun, and they’d cancelled shows and appearances and tours and events, he’d had this feeling, this ache, screaming that he could be doing so much more. He could have tried to learn to play an instrument, like the cello or something. He could have tried to learn to speak English better. There was so much he could have done, and yet, he felt like he had done nothing. 

All of the other members had been doing something with their time. There was no doubt Jaebeom had been in his studio, loyal to his previous routine, always writing, reading, and composing. Yugyeom knew he still went on walks because he’d send some pictures to the group chat of the sky when it looked like a painting, or of a cat he’d see wandering around. Mark had been streaming games online, meeting new friends and expanding the popularity of GOT7 partially into the gaming community. Jackson had been doing schedules in China already, and he’d just continued. He was always doing something, whether it be for his own popularity, his brand, or for GOT7. Jinyoung had been in a new drama released near the beginning of quarantine and was supposed to be in another one coming up soon. He’d even been working on his English for international fans to understand him better, and had been checking in with the AmeriThaiKong line of GOT7 to make sure he understood well. Youngjae was doing his first ever role in a drama for Netflix and had been working out a bit more. Finally, and almost most notably of all, BamBam had bulked up immensely during quarantine. He’d worked out, changed some of his eating habits, and he’d gained a lot of muscles because of it. In comparison, Yugyeom felt like the only thing he’d been doing at all were Vlives. He didn’t better himself like the others, he didn’t do anything out of the box to promote his team, he wasn’t filming a drama, he wasn’t getting bulked up, he wasn’t learning English. He was sitting on his ass, doing nothing, and he’d never felt so unhappy or unfulfilled before. 

Yugyeom got up, Dalkyum still asleep and now in his arms. He settled his little puppy into a cocoon of blankets on the couch, tucking his nose in because sometimes the apartment got cold at night, especially with the temperatures outside dropping low. The dog stayed asleep and Yugyeom was grateful for it. 

As Yugyeom made his way through the apartment he could hear the deep breathing of his brother, the slight snore on the end of his breaths a testament to exactly how tired he must have been. He hobbled to the bathroom, a sudden sick feeling looking in his gut.

The revelation hit as he hurled and coughed over the toilet, everything he’d eaten coming up. Some of the weight he’d been feeling lifted from his shoulders. He didn’t much like the taste or the burn of the acid in his throat. Being like this, as in not being weighed down by heavy foods, made him feel better. Maybe he’d feel better if he ate less, or not at all. 

But in another way, that burn he didn’t like felt so good. The very short burst of pain had caused him to come to his senses. It had cleared his head a bit, made him return to reality to understand how he was feeling. He wanted to find something he could carry with him that would hurt enough to snap him out of a bad place or just hurt because he wasn’t doing well. Something nobody would question if they saw it. Thus, another revelation struck. He hurried to his studio where he did most of his paperwork and found a stray rubber band, big enough to slide down his wrist but small enough that it lightly hugged his skin and wouldn’t move. He pulled it up, snapping it harshly against his skin, leaving the smallest little red mark, and a wave of almost calm crashed over him. That was it. 

So it was there his bad habits began. 

—

Yugyeom hummed softly as he clipped the leash to Dalkyum’s collar. He was taking him on a walk to try and release some of the tension he’d been feeling. His wrist ached a little, for he’d been snapping the rubber band a lot earlier. He’d been working on a song, something for the comeback he’d been told they were finally going to announce soon, and nothing had sounded right. He’d spent every moment from when he woke up to just minutes ago trying to mix anything that sounded good. Euigyeom had tried to check on him, but he’d locked the door and had headphones on, so he’d stopped trying. It wasn’t unusual for Yugyeom to do so and he was glad he’d made a habit of it earlier so Euigyeom didn’t question it now. 

Yugyeom hummed the melody to Paradise as he and Dalkyum walked outside. He turned and they began the usual route, a wide lap around the apartment building. It was getting colder outside, something Yugyeom needed to start to remember. He loved heavy sweaters and sweatshirts. Dressing to be comfortable was one of his biggest values when he wasn’t working or presenting himself as “Kim Yugyeom, member of GOT7” to the world. When he was just Yugyeom, walking his dog, he wore sweatshirts and joggers, messy hair and had an unshaven face. It was comfortable. Maybe looking like that wasn’t such a good idea. The others didn’t do that. 

Yugyeom made sure to clean up after Dalkyum as they walked, throwing the bag away when they passed the next trash can. He felt better, walking like this, and although his stomach growled he ignored it. He hadn’t been eating much recently, extremely cutting back on the amount he ate in one day, and to be honest it was making him feel a bit better about himself. Besides, eating less was healthy in his mind, and he strived to do something with all the extra time he had. He wouldn’t consider it starving himself, he usually ate once a day at least, but to be honest a lot of it was the fact that he didn’t have the motivation to make food, or he simply forgot to do so. 

Yugyeom stumbled a bit as he walked, simply tripping over his own feet. He snapped the rubber band that had found a permanent home on his left wrist. The sting felt good. He needed to eat something when he got home. He’d had a protein bar for breakfast and Euigyeom had managed to shove an egg down Yugyeom’s throat before the younger had disappeared to his studio. He’d been drinking a lot of water since then. When he got home, he’d probably find some left overs or something. Maybe he just wouldn’t eat. He guessed he was going to find out when he got to that point. 

These kinds of though processes had become normal, daily things. It was normal, wondering if he was going to eat at all. Yugyeom snapped the rubber band because he was taking to long to think instead of walking the dog. 

—

It was late. They were practicing their dances for the tracks on their newest album, now officially prepping for the comeback. Everyone was exhausted and hungry, and eager to go out to eat after practice. It was an occasional tradition stemming back to their trainee days where, if they had a rough practice, they’d all go out to eat as soon as possible after said rough practice. Today was definitely a day that qualified for the parameters of what “rough” meant. 

“Alright guys, one last time and if it’s good we’ll let you go for the night,” one of the choreographers called, clapping their hands from where everyone was scattered after their last run. There were soft cheers as they all shuffled into place. 

Yugyeom was feeling a little lightheaded thanks to not eating much. He’d eaten breakfast in preparation because he knew that this would require a lot of energy, but even now with that he was still running low. All of them were bad eating habits aside. 

As they neared the end, Yugyeom subtly snapped the rubber band. For the next thirty seconds he was hyper focused on finishing the song, just trying to get through it, and the rubber band had done that for him. As the song finished, and thus their last run was over, practice was called to an end.

Yugyeom collapsed on the corner of the couch, sweat dripping down his face. He was sure he was probably looking pretty pale as he felt a little lightheaded. He closed his eyes to stop the room from spinning. He felt somebody sit next to him, bracketing him in between the arm of the couch and their body. A hand was on his shoulder and another on his forehead.

“You alright?” a voice asked. Yugyeom immediately recognized Mark’s voice coming from nearby his ear. 

“Yeah, I’m okay, just a bit tired.”

“I think we all are,” Mark laughed lightly, his hand moving from resting on Yugyeom’s forehead to run through his hair. 

Somebody settled on the arm of the couch right next to Yugyeom, their thigh pressed just so against the side of his arm. 

“So,” Jackson’s voice came, and Yugyeom noted he was the one sitting on the arm of the couch, “where are we gonna eat? Or rather, I guess, where are we going to order from and whose house are we going to eat the food at, cause we probably shouldn’t sit down anywhere.”

“Home,” Yugyeom groaned, finally flicking his eyes open, “I need a shower.”

Jaebeom laughed. 

“Does Euigyeom want us there?” BamBam teased. 

“He certainly wouldn’t mind Jackson,” Yugyeom grinned, but the thought of having everybody at his house, where he was most comfortable, stirred something in him. As much as he loves his hyungs, right now he wasn’t sure if he wanted his closest friends piling into his safest space and tearing it open. Maybe they’d find that they really didn’t like him. Maybe they’d find that he wasn’t doing enough during quarantine, or found something they didn’t think was good enough. 

“I actually think he’s doing something for work, so it might not be a good idea to bother him,” Yugyeom lied. He knew his brother was home, and with how nice he was, even if he was busy, he wouldn’t mind them coming in. Realistically, Yugyeom was sure Euigyeom would mind, he was just way too nice to say it. 

“Hmm, what about you, Bam?” Youngjae asked. 

“Yeah, I haven’t seen your cats in forever,” Jackson agreed. Jaebeom’s smile turned into a wistful one when he thought about getting to see BamBam’s cats. 

“Alright, where do we want food from? I’m craving fried rice, for a change,” Mark commented.

“Ha! Yugyeom will for sure like that,” BamBam jeered jokingly, poking Yugyeom in the chest. Something in Yugyeom’s gut twisted painfully. He knew it was a joke, but it sounded more like a critique on his eating. 

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m genuinely tired, and not super hungry. Pick someplace you all want to eat, don’t pick for me,” Yugyeom mumbled, picking absently at the fabric on his sweater. His fingers gravitated towards the rubber band on his wrist, hidden underneath his other bracelets. He went for it, snapping it minisculely multiple times to make up for the fact he couldn’t stretch it without being extremely obvious about it. It was a quiet noise, and nobody even cast him a second glance. 

“Not hungry? That doesn’t sound like you,” Jinyoung commented, and again it felt like a judgmental comment. 

“Yeah, you’re always hungry,” Mark nodded, and Yugyeom felt his stomach tighten and his toes curled in his shoes in the most unpleasant way. 

“Whatever. I’m gonna go to the bathroom. When I get back, you guys have better decided on something you want to eat, because I might not order much, okay?” Yugyeom huffed, trying not to sound mad or upset. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Jackson said, waving Yugyeom off as he shuffled out of the practice room. 

Yugyeom hurried to the bathroom, stomach still tight. He hobbled into a stall, crumbling over the toilet, coughing like his lungs burned. He threw up the water and acid from his stomach and he couldn’t stop. He gagged, throat restricting painfully. His stomach pulsed and he dry heaved. His body was trying to remove the food in his stomach, but there wasn’t anything to get rid of. He hadn’t been forcing himself to throw up, he knew that was extremely unhealthy behavior, and instead he’d taken to simply eating less. There was this feeling, this awful, restricting, consuming feeling that made his head feel like it was ready to explode and made his body feel like it was lead. He gagged again, stomach rapidly squeezing in his gut over and over again. His head dropped to the toilet seat, the plastic cool against his flushed cheeks. He hiccuped, a bit of stomach acid dribbling over his lip. He felt absolutely disgusting; the churning in his stomach didn’t stop. 

Yugyeom wasn’t sure how long he’d sat there, eyes lidded, but he knew it was too long when he heard the bathroom door swing open and footsteps on the tile.

“Yugyeom-ah, are you alright? We’ve been waiting for a while and hyungs sent me to make sure you weren’t dying,” BamBam called, his sleek shoes appearing in the small crack below the stall. 

Yugyeom forced himself up and flushed the toilet. He snapped the rubber band harshly, the noise covered by the flush of the water. He opened the stall door weakly. 

“Sorry, I’m just not feeling well,” he excused himself. He shuffled to the sink, BamBam’s eyes following him, and washed his hands. He rubbed at his face weakly, and even though he knew there was nothing in his stomach, he still felt sick. 

“I think I’m going to go home,” he whispered as BamBam took his arm and led him back to the practice room so he could gather his things. As they entered everyone looked over and the conversation they’d been having died. 

“I’ll help you pack,” BamBam murmured, dragging Yugyeom to his bag. They put away his water and his phone. BamBam made him put on the sweatshirt he’d taken off earlier and gestured to the rest of the group to not say a word. 

“Come on, let’s go,” BamBam said, leading Yugyeom back out of the door. He sat him down near the entrance and called him a ride back to his apartment.

BamBam waited until the car came and made Yugyeom get in, confirming the address and the driver before shutting the door and watching them drive off. When he returned upstairs, everybody was silent, waiting for him. 

“Is he alright?” Jaebeom asked right off the bat, staring directly into BamBam’s eyes.

“I’m not sure. To be honest, I’m pretty sure he threw up. I couldn’t see him in the stall, but when he came out he was wiping at his mouth and he vigorously washed his hands. He seemed really tired. I got him a car and sent him home. Why don’t one of you text Euigyeom, make sure he tells you when Yugyeom gets back and if he actually goes to bed? And ask him to keep a close eye on him. He didn’t look good.”

“I got it,” Jackson announced, pulling out his phone, quickly typing away. The rest of the group gathered together. They were still going to get some food, even if Yugyeom couldn’t come. It was tradition, something they didn’t want to break. As they piled into a car and Jinyoung typed in their destination, Jackson’s phone dinged loudly. He pulled it out and read the text.

“Euigyeom said Yugyeom’s home. He said he’s getting ready to shower and Euigyeom will try to get him to eat some soup when he gets out. He said Yugyeom wasn’t talking to him much and completely ignored Dalkyum when he walked in. He says he’ll keep us updated.”

“Okay, that’s good, Euigyeom is watching him. Let’s go eat and then we can all go home, alright? Let’s try not to worry too much, he might just be getting sick, it is flu season, after all,” Jaebeom said, just trying to get everyone to not think about it. 

Everyone nodded.

“Right. Good.” 

—

“I’m sorry,” Yugyeom blubbered, hair wet and matted to his forehead and he stumbled his way to the kitchen counter where Euigyeom had set out a bowl of soup. He sat down at the counter and picked up the glass of water his brother slid over to him. 

“Gyeom-ah, I already told you it’s alright. You don’t feel good, you can’t help it. Just sit and try to eat something, or at least drink a bit of the broth. Just take it easy, it’s not your fault you feel like this.”

But it was his fault. His fault for feeling insecure, his fault for being useless, his fault for disappointing his hyungs, his fault for being a nuisance. 

“Still, I’m sorry, hyung,” Yugyeom insisted. He looked down when he felt Dalkyum rub on his foot and he gave the dog a weak smile. 

“Hi, Dallie,” he murmured, bending down to pet the pup. The dog nudged his hand and licked it, and Yugyeom let him. It’s not like he was going to need both hands to eat soup. 

Euigyeom sat down next to him, handing his little brother a spoon gently. 

“You know you can talk to me about anything bothering you, don’t you?” he asked quietly, watching Yugyeom take a tentative sip of the hot broth. 

“I know, hyung. It means a lot to me that you’re even trying to talk to me right now,” Yugyeom sighed, “Seriously. Thanks.”

They ate in silence, and while Euigyeom drained his bowl, Yugyeom was only able to choke down some broth and a couple spoonfuls of noodles. He pushed his bowl away after Euigyeom got him to eat one more spoonful of noodles and a little sip of the broth. 

“Why don’t you head to bed, Gyeom?” Euigyeom suggested, standing up. He pulled out Yugyeom’s chair and practically dragged him to his room.

He forced Yugyeom into some pajama pants and pushed him onto his bed. 

“Now, sleep,” Euigyeom commanded, and it was enough to get Yugyeom to let out a little snort of amusement. 

“Goodnight,” he sang, waving Euigyeom off, and the older huffed.

“Go to sleep, little brat.” He gave him a fond look as he closed the door to Yugyeom’s bedroom. As much better as he felt, there was a lingering, ever present feeling of anxiety rippling through his spine. The younger fell asleep, but the feeling persisted to his dreams. 

—

Euigyeom jolted up in bed, a scream coming from Yugyeom’s room being the thing to wake him. He scrambled out of bed, heading directly for his brother. He practically knocked the door down. 

Yugyeom was sitting up in his bed, sobbing loudly. He was frantically snapping a rubber band, or what actually looked to be multiple rubber bands, against his wrist. Euigyeom couldn’t see well enough to tell. He was yelling in frustration, snapping harder and harder, and Euigyeom could only rush over and rip his hand away from his wrist. Yugyeom practically wailed, clawing and Euigyeom to make him let go, but he wouldn’t. 

“Yugyeom! Yugyeom-ah! Hey!” The boy didn’t listen to him, didn’t even acknowledge he was there. He went limp in the bed and sobbed, trying to hide his face in his pillows. 

“What’s wrong? Please tell me what’s going on?” Euigyeom asked, but the boy was silent. The text he’d gotten from Jackson earlier was beginning to make sense. Watch him. 

Yugyeom’s phone lay discarded on the bedside table, and Euigyeom knew he should tell the boys group, his other hyungs, to come help. This wasn’t something, whatever it was, that Yugyeom or Euigyeom could take care of alone. As he picked it up he saw it was open to an article about BamBam’s post from Instagram, but he closed the app and went to his messages, to the group chat. 

He sent a message telling them it was actually Euigyeom texting, and that they needed to come to the apartment as soon as they could. A bunch of texts instantly flooded asking what was wrong, but Euigyeom knew he couldn’t explain, because he didn’t know. He repeated his words, told them to come, and put the phone back down. He sat down on Yugyeom’s bed and tugged him against his chest. He tried to hold his hands away, but the younger was struggling a lot and making it extremely difficult. It was like this for a while, both fighting the other, either on instinct or to help, but Euigyeom could tell Yugyeom was beginning to get tired. He managed to wrangle to arm with the rubber bands on it down and he pulled them off. A strangled screech left Yugyeom’s mouth. 

In the background, Euigyeom heard the front door unlock, the electronic lock having been disengaged, but he could only hope it was the rest of GOT7. 

“You can’t take them, hyung, they help! They help!”

“You’re going to hurt yourself, Yugyeom!” Euigyeom growled, throwing the rubber bands out of the room. Yugyeom climbed over him to get at them and Euigyeom had to physically wrestle him to the floor. 

“That’s the point!” Yugyeom wailed, kicking Euigyeom off of him. He scrambled away, standing up and panting heavily, cheeks red and soaked. He looked up and froze. He didn’t know where his brother had thrown the bands, but that wasn’t the issue. 

Jaebeom stood in the doorway to his bedroom, mouth slightly agape. Jinyoung was behind him, a hand gripped on his shoulder hard enough for his knuckles to be white. Jackson appeared behind Jinyoung, then Mark, BamBam, and Youngjae all came rushing into the apartment. 

“What?” Jaebeom asked, voice cracking a bit. 

Yugyeom reared back but his body just didn’t have the energy to take him anywhere. He collapsed back onto his butt, his hands slamming into the ground but not doing much to catch him. He coughed weakly, his black hair that had grown so much during quarantine covering his eyes. He buried his face in his hands and cried. 

He could hear whispering, but he paid it no mind. Someone settled beside him. A warm hand gently came up to the side of his head and tugged him against a broad chest. His lip trembled and he choked a little sob when he took a deep breath and inhaled the familiar scent of Jinyoung’s body wash. He wouldn’t look up; he refused to even think about it. He didn’t want to see the disappointment that was sure to surround him. 

“Gyeomie, let’s get back into bed, okay?” Jinyoung murmured. He helped him stand and managed to pry the younger's hands away from his face, but he wouldn’t look up. He got Yugyeom into bed, sitting up, legs covered by his warm comforter. 

“It’s okay,” Jinyoung comforted him, still holding him close, letting him cry. Yugyeom felt somebody else crawl into his bed and he was ready to lose it when he saw BamBam’s hand grab his limp hand that was resting in his lap. He squeezed so tight, so hard, and BamBam let him. 

Soon the others piled in. Jaebeom came and sat next to Jinyoung, rubbing Yugyeom’s back much like a parent might do. Jackson managed to squeeze behind Yugyeom and a bit to the side and wrapped an arm around Yugyeom’s arm to keep him grounded. Mark settled down by his legs, rubbing a comforting hand up and down to try and calm him. Youngjae sat down on the other side of Yugyeom’s legs, laying down and resting his head on them. The weight was comforting.

Somebody, probably Euigyeom, pressed a warm drink to Yugyeom’s lips and the taste of chocolate flourished in his mouth. He raised his empty hand to grab the glass and whoever was holding it before let go once he had a secure grip. 

“I’m sorry,” Yugyeom mumbled, and it seemed like that was the only thing he’d been saying recently. 

“Don’t be,” Mark immediately cut in, “mental health isn’t something anybody can control if you’re not really aware of it. You can’t help how you’re feeling, Gyeom-ah, you can’t just learn to deal with it properly without help. 

There was something unsaid, something about the rubber band and the unhealthy eating. There was something unsaid about the insecurity Yugyeom felt, but right now, that was okay. Right now, they wanted him to feel just a little bit better. Right now, they wanted him to get some rest so they could discuss it all in the morning.

“Please sleep, Gyeom,” Youngjae whispered.

They all watched as Yugyeom closed his eyes. He sunk down further under his sheets, covers coming up to his chest. 

“We’ll be here when you wake up,” Jaebeom finished. He brushed a hand over Yugyeom’s puffy cheeks, wiping the remnants of his tears away. He fell asleep easily, surrounded by safety. He felt better than he had in months. Maybe he could really tell his hyungs; maybe it wouldn’t hurt.


	4. A Trip Down the Wrong Hall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It wasn't always like this. He had been so nice in the beginning or their relationship, but now it was like he had changed; Yugyeom doesn't realize until too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Request by [taratata](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taratata/pseuds/taratata)  
> Hope this is what you're looking for!
> 
> Thanks again, Marie, for reading my bad writing at 3am.

Yugyeom sincerely missed how his relationship with Ryu Jum used to be, back when he’d been loved with no restrictions. Now, it was like their relationship had a list of terms and conditions that Yugyeom had checked yes to without even glancing. He wished he had. 

Yugyeom shifted where he sat on the couch, his boyfriend ranting and pacing in front of him. He was taller than Yugyeom, which was something Yugyeom didn’t often see, but it also meant he was a bit more physically imposing than Yugyeom was. 

“You never spend any time with me, ever! When you have time off from work you’re always with BamBam or the others!” Jum hurriedly sat down next to Yugyeom when the younger got ready to argue back. 

“Please, Yugyeom-ah, I miss you when you’re not home,” he pouted, eyebrows drawn up, “I just don’t want to lose you.” He pulled him closer, brushing his hair off his forehead. “You’re too important to me, I can’t have you leaving me. You know you’re all I have.” He rubbed his thumbs over the backs of Yugyeom’s hands and clasped them together. He kissed them gently, causing a blush to erupt on Yugyeom’s face. 

“I’m sorry hyung, I really am. Hyungs wanted to go out to eat tonight and when I said you were home, they just told me I lived with you and they never saw me. I felt bad for saying no to them, you know how bad I am about that.”

“You should feel bad for saying yes,” Jum argued, but his voice still held a bit of a whine that Yugyeom was helpless to. He couldn’t help it. He had a lot of commitments. 

“Look, Gyeomie, I just want you to be happy with me, and I can’t do that if you’re never around. You never spend much time with me anymore.”

“Ah, hyung, we watched a movie when I came back from practice yesterday,” Yugyeom protested. 

“You fell asleep halfway through!”

Yugyeom’s mouth dropped. 

“No I didn’t!”

“Yes, you did! You were even snoring, Gyeomie, it was so cute!”

Yugyeom’s mouth snapped shut. Had he really fallen asleep? He didn’t remember falling asleep, he remembered the end of the movie, but he had seen it before. Had he really? Did he just imagine walking to bed?

“But I thought…”

“You’re probably just remembered the first time you watched it, without me.”

“Yeah, that’s probably it. Sorry, hyung. I didn’t realize I’d fallen asleep. I understand why you’re upset. Let me go take a shower and we can watch another movie together tonight, okay? And I won’t fall asleep.”

“Thank you for understanding, sweetie,” Jum cooed. Yugyeom flushed again. Jum gave him a quick kiss before Yugyeom hopped off the couch and headed to the bedroom to grab clothes. He was in and out of the shower in about ten minutes and heading to the kitchen with a wet mop of hair atop his head and an oversized sweatshirt warming him. He walked into Jum, who was reheating some of the fried rice they’d ordered a few nights ago. 

“Jum-hyung, what do you want to watch? I can go put it on while you finish up.”

“Pick something you think we’ll both like, sweetie. I trust you to have good taste.”

Yugyeom nodded, but a little spark of anxiety shocked through him. The last time Jum had told him to pick something, and he’d said anything was fine, Yugyeom had picked a short drama that had recently come out and was only a few episodes long, so it would have only taken them a couple nights to finish. Yugyeom had through these be fine with the drama, he’d said anything was fine, and yet when they’d settled down to watch it Jum had gone on and on about how he didn’t like dramas and that Yugyeom should have known better than to pick something he didn’t like. He didn’t want that to happen again. 

Yugyeom thought about what he knew Jum liked. He liked action movies; he’d liked the last romcom they’d watched together, but that was probably because it made him horny and Yugyeom had definitely been willing to help him out with that; he liked mystery movies, so maybe Yugyeom could find a James Bond movie or something like Ocean’s 11, although that was in English; he liked horror movies to a certain extent, but Yugyeom wasn’t really feeling up for that tonight. He scrolled around through recommended movies on his account and still hadn’t found something he thought Jum would like. 

“You haven’t found one?” Jum asked as he handed Yugyeom his bowl. His sleek black hair was slightly gelled back, still in from when he’d been at work. He slung an arm around Yugyeom’s shoulders. 

“No, sorry. I wasn’t sure what you’d want to watch, so I’ve been scrolling through suggestions looking for anything that popped out. I was waiting for your opinion.”

“Well you know that I’m down to watch anything with you, sweetie.” Every time he used that damn pet name it made Yugyeom blush. 

“What about this one?” Yugyeom asked, clicking into a movie he’d scrolled past that looked good. 

“No, it doesn’t look that good.”

“Oh, hmm, what about one of these?”

“No, neither of those either.”

This went on for about five minutes, Yugyeom trying to suggest something and Jum telling him no, or that he wasn’t interested, or that he didn’t want to watch a childish animated movie, no matter the content of it. 

“Well, you pick one, then.”

“No, I already told you, I’m down for anything, just pick one.”

“What? Hyung, you’ve been telling me no this whole time.”

“Pick a good one, Yugyeom, not some random, shitty movie.”

“Jummie, I like a lot of those movies, please don’t say they’re bad,” Yugyeom sighed. He kept scrolling, just going through popular movies, when Yugyeom hit the button to skip along and it landed on a gory-looking, bad action horror movie. Jum squeezed his shoulder, hard. 

“This one?” Yugyeom asked, looking at his boyfriend. 

“It’s your pick.”

When Yugyeom scrolled off, the hand on his shoulder tightened and nails dug into his skin. He went back and the pressure lightened up.

“Let’s just watch this one, hyung,” Yugyeom swallowed. 

“Sounds good to me, sweetie,” Jum hummed, giving Yugyeom a quick peck on the lips before he dug into his rice. Yugyeom looked down at his lap and frowned. He took a hesitant bite, a little weirded out, but honestly he ended up not thinking much of it as they watched the movie. 

Yugyeom didn’t get scared often, never really with movies, not even bad jump scares for him. He only got genuinely scared from either real life events or actual scary plot lines or events, but even then it had to be a lot to scare him. It was one of the reasons he didn’t much like watching horror movies, especially if somebody else suggested it. They’re supposed to make you cuddle out of fear, but Yugyeom just gets disinterested if the movie is only made of shitty jump scares. 

Despite Yugyeom clearly not being very afraid, Jum beckoned him to come closer. Yugyeom went anyway, figuring he could probably use a good cuddle. Jum ran his fingers through Yugyeom’s hair, making him relax and completely forget about the strange way they had picked a movie. He got drowsy near the end, but powers through it because his boyfriend had been upset last time he’d fallen asleep.

“Let’s watch another, sweetie,” Jum insisted.

“Hyung, I’m really tired. I’ll probably fall asleep really fast if we watch another one. You said you didn’t want me to fall asleep.”

“Oh, that’s okay, if you fall asleep then I’ll just turn the TV off and we can go to bed.”

“Okay,” Yugyeom murmured, already closing his eyes. He was too tired to argue about it. He didn’t want to fall asleep because, despite what Jum thought, he did like spending time with his boyfriend. He did miss him, quite often, actually, and this was one of the times he could spend with him. Yugyeom could do nothing to stop it, though. He crashed, hard, fast asleep against the older man in minutes.

\--

“Yugyeomie! Your phone has been going off for the past five minutes!” Youngjae called, holding up said phone as the younger walked back into the practice room. 

“Toss it,” Yuygeom said. Youngjae tossed the phone through the air, Yugyeom catching it easily and turning it over to see who was trying to get a hold of him.

“Who is it?” Jackson asked, curious to know who’d been trying to get a hold of their maknae. 

“Oh, huh. It’s Jum-hyung. Wonder what he needs. I’m gonna call him back, I’ll just be outside,” Yugyeom replied, tapping away to find his hyung’s contact. He left the studio quickly, lifting the phone to his ear.

“Yah! Yugyeom-ah! You were supposed to be home two hours ago!”

“What? Hyung, I have practice for three more hours, I told you this! It’s been on the calendar for a week now, Jummie. I told you we added it to the end of our schedule. I can’t just leave, hyung, you know that. Why are you so angry?”

“It’s not on the calendar! How am I supposed to know anything if you don’t put it on the calendar?”

“It is! It is, I swear! I put it on there, hyung! When I got the added day from Jaebeom-hyung, the first thing I did was add the day to the shared calendar. I swear to god, hyung, I put it on there.”

“Go look, then, because it’s not there.”

“Fine.”

Yugyeom pulled the phone away from his ear and tapped around to find the calendar app on his phone. He opened it up, sure of himself, and there was nothing. The practice wasn’t on the schedule.

“It’s not there, is it?” Jum sneered. 

“No,” Yugyeom mumbled weakly.

“I told you, sweetie, just listen to me next time. Don’t be an idiot and forget.”

“Sorry, hyung, I really thought it was on the schedule. I wouldn’t have gotten so angry if I knew it wasn’t on the schedule.”

“Sweetie, you can’t get so defensive all the time, you know I’m usually right.”

“Right, I’m sorry. Sorry. I’ll make sure it’s on the calendar next time.”

“You keep saying you’ll do things next time. Just do it right the first time, sweetie. It’s not hard.”

“Sorry,” Yugyeom repeated, defeated, “I’m really sorry.”

“Just do it right next time.”

“Yes, I will. I’m really sorry, hyung. Seriously.”

“I know, sweetie.”

Jum ended the call and Yugyeom dropped the phone from his ear. He didn’t have time to think about it. He returned to the practice room and tucked his phone away.

—

“You’re being insecure, sweetie,” Jum sighed, cupping Yugyeom’s head in his hands. He brushed his thumbs over his cheeks and Yugyeom wanted to cry. 

“Why would you ever think I would cheat on you? I would never do such a thing. You trust me, don’t you? If you loved me, you would trust me more.”

“But I do love you!” Yugyeom stresses, eyes flitting rapidly over Jum’s saddened face. 

“Then trust me!” Jum yelled, pushing Yugyeom’s face away. Yugyeom stumbled back, startled. 

“I do!” Yugyeom protested, moving to get closer, but Jum pushed him back with a hand on his chest. 

“Clearly you don’t! If you trusted me you wouldn’t constantly be asking me where I am or what I’m doing.”

“I texted you once, hyung! And you do that to me, anyway!”

“I do it to make sure that my sweetie is safe, you just do it to monitor my every move. You need to stop thinking everything is about you and start considering that other people have lives! I can’t always be around you!”

“Jum, that’s not even what this is about!”

“Jum hyung.”

Yugyeom swallowed. He wasn’t even listening to him. 

“Jum-hyung, that’s not what this is about!”

“No, it is! This is about you not trusting me and you being clingy and you always wanting to see me!”

“We live together, of course I want to see you, but hyung, just a while ago it was you asking me to be around more. I’ve blown off so many plans with GOT7 hyungs so I could spend time with you.”

“I never asked you to do that, sweetie. I never asked that of you.”

“But you did!” Yugyeom cried, and his voice unwillingly cracked and he covered his mouth. 

“You’re overreacting right now. I never said or did that.”

“But we had a whole conversation about it,” Yugyeom protested. Jum seemed to soften.

“You’re imagining things, sweetie. Are you feeling alright?” He came closer and Yugyeom let him, stunned. He felt Yugyeom’s forehead and clicked his tongue disapprovingly.

“Why didn’t you tell me you have a fever? You’re burning up. Why didn’t your irresponsible members notice?”

“What? What do you mean, I feel fine.” Yugyeom shook his head. 

“Come on, you’re not making any sense. Let’s get you into bed. Maybe you’ll feel better tomorrow morning.”

Yugyeom let his older boyfriend drag him to the bathroom so he could shower. When Jum was getting him clothes he felt his forehead; it was a little warm. Maybe he was actually getting sick and imagining things. Was he trying so desperately to make sense of the situation that he was imagining symptoms, or was he legitimately running a fever?

Jum coaxes Yugyeom into taking a shower. He had given him a pair of boxers and a t-shirt to sleep in, and when Yugyeom opened the bathroom door to head to their bedroom, Jum was waiting for him with a thermometer in his hand.

“Let me take your temperature, sweetie,” he insisted. He stuck the thermometer into Yugyeom’s mouth and waited for it to beep while Yugyeom finished drying his hair. When it finally beeped, Jum pulled it out of Yugyeom’s mouth. 

“See, I told you, sweetie. You’ve got a low fever of 100.4 degrees, I knew it.”

“Hyung, I just got out of the shower,” Yugyeom protested, but he didn’t get the chance to say ‘wouldn’t that have raised my temperature’ because Jum cut him off.

“Yes, you did,” Jum frowned, “so let’s get you to bed so you’ll be all better tomorrow morning.”

Yugyeom let his hyung push him into bed. He curled up, hugging his pillow, his back to Jum’s side of the bed. He let his boyfriend slip his arms around his waist, his hot breath on Yugyeom’s neck. 

—

“Gyeom-ah, it feels like I haven’t seen you in forever!” BamBam whined, hanging off of his best friend. 

“Sorry, Bammie, Jum’s been having a hard time at home so I’ve been trying to spend time with him,” Yugyeom smiled weakly. How was he supposed to tell his best friend that his boyfriend didn’t want Yugyeom spending a lot of time with his members?

—

“Yugyeom-ah! Are you listening?” 

“Huh?” Yugyeom jerked awake, eyes snapping opened in surprise. When he saw a face a few inches away he yelled and flung himself back into the wall he’d fallen asleep sitting against. 

“Woah! Hey! It’s just me,” Jackson laughed. “Jesus, maknae, when did you get so jumpy?”

“Sorry, hyung, I’m just tired.”

“I’m sure you are, it’s been a rough day. Up you go,” Jackson strained as he hauled Yugyeom to his feet. “Want to sleep at my place? It’s closer, you know.”

“I can’t, sorry. Jummie wants me home unless I tell him a few days in advance.”

“So you can’t really make last minute plans, ever? Gyeom-ah, that’s like how your life operates with all our scheduling.”

“Sorry, hyung, I can’t help it. He likes a steady schedule, so I do what I can.” Yugyeom shrugged. 

“Well, you should tell him that you planned on doing this last week.”

“He wouldn’t believe me. Besides, hyung, you know I don’t like lying.”

“Fine, fine, but I want to see you again soon, Gyeom-ah. We never hang out.”

“Okay, hyung, I’ll see what I can do.” The younger scurried off, phone in hand, already texting Jum. 

—

Yugyeom heard the door to the room where he was relaxing open up and he hurriedly pulled down his rolled-up sleeves just as Jaebeom appeared in the doorway. 

“Hi hyung!” he greeted his leader enthusiastically, carefully placing one hand covering the wrist of his other arm. Jaebeom’s eyes fell to the movement of his hands for a moment. Yugyeom shifted uncomfortably.

“Did you do something to your arms?” Jaebeom asked.

“No, why do you ask?” 

“You covered your arms the moment I stepped into the room.”

“You brought in cold air!” the younger complained, shivering a little for added effect. He curled up a bit in the chair he was sitting in and pouted. 

“Oh, sorry,” Jaebeom slowly apologized. 

“Come watch this video with me, hyung,” Yugyeom said, waving him in closer.

“I have to go check on everybody else, Gyeom-ah. Just send it to me and I’ll watch it later.” Jaebeom backed out of the room and shut the door behind him. Yugyeom took a deep breath. 

—

“Jum-hyung, I have to go, I need to get to practice. I’m already going to be late because you wanted to make breakfast; I need to leave, right now.”

“Can’t you skip,” Jum asked, grip on Yugyeom’s already-bruised arm tightening, making the younger flinch. He’d been doing this extremely often, not letting him leave, gripping him so hard it left bruises on his pale arms. 

“No, I seriously can’t. I’m going to get punished if I don’t leave, right now. Let go.”

“No.”

“Jum-hyung, I’m serious. You need to let go of my arm or I might be seriously reprimanded. Come on,” Yugyeom hissed, trying to pull away from his boyfriend. He tugged but Jum was undeniably stronger. He was broader and taller than Yugyeom was, which didn’t happen often. 

“Let go!” Yugyeom yelled, pushing Jum back with his other hand. He let go, a little surprised. Yugyeom ran to the front door, snatched his wallet and his keys where he’d left them, and practically sprinted down the hallway, to the stairwell. He could hear Jum coming after him. Not good. 

“You’re not leaving!” Jum yelled. Yugyeom slammed the door to the stairwell open. He practically jumped down the first half-floor and hurriedly continued down the next. He had a long way to go, but part of him imagined he could do it. Jum’s thundering footsteps pounded above him and he tried running faster. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jum thundered, voice echoing painfully in the stairwell. Yugyeom almost shrieked when he realized how close Jum had gotten. He still had 3 more floors to go down. Yugyeom rounded the corner and felt a harsh push right in the middle of his back. It sent him tumbling forward, losing his footing, and suddenly he was at the bottom of the half flight of stairs, sprawled uncomfortably, Jum hovering above him.

“Yugyeom-ah, hey,” he whispered harshly, snapping at Yugyeom’s face to get his eyes to focus. 

Yugyeom whimpered, shifting slightly. 

“Hyung,” he cried, breathing sharply, “hyung, what’d you do?”

A pool of red was forming under his head. 

—

“He WHAT?” Jaebeom growled, grip on the phone tightening. 

Jackson sent a concerned look to Jinyoung from where they were both sitting on the couch in the studio. They’d been waiting for Yugyeom for almost half an hour before Jaebeom had gotten a call from the hospital saying a “Lim Jaebeom” was on his list of emergency contacts. 

He’d had a very short conversation before his phone had gone off again, a call coming on from Yugyeom’s phone that Jaebeom did not hesitate to answer. It turns out it wasn’t Yugyeom, it was actually Jum that had called because he didn’t have any of the GOT7 members as contacts. 

“I just said, he slipped down the stairs when he was leaving this morning. I was walking down with him and he slipped and fell. He hit his head and was bleeding really bad.”

“How the hell did he fall? He’s a dancer, for god's sake, he doesn’t just fall.” 

“I don’t know, he just slipped! How am I supposed to know, it’s not like I can ask!” Jum roared over the phone. 

“What do you mean? He’s ALIVE, isn’t he!” Jaebeom raged. 

“He hit his head! They had to stitch his skull back together, what do you think! He’s asleep!” 

“Hyung, calm down,” Jinyoung whispered sharply, putting a hand on Jaebeom’s shoulder, “I know you don’t like him, but yelling at the person who brought Yugyeom to the hospital isn’t helping anybody here.”

Jaebeom took a deep breath. 

“Jum, I swear to god, if you hurt him I’m going to-” Jackson covered Jaebeom’s mouth with a quick hand. 

“Jum, we’re coming. Decide if you want to be there or not,” Jackson muttered. He ended the call. 

“Don’t be irrational, hyung,” Jackson sighed, “it could have been an accident. We have to talk to Yugyeom first. Until he tells us, we need to try to be civil.” 

“I’ll call the others. They should be heading back from picking up food right about now. I’ll just tell them to meet us at the hospital,” Jinyoung sighed. He rubbed at his temples, clearly stressed. 

“I hope he’s okay,” Jackson mumbled.

“He’ll be okay,” Jinyoung said, but the trio didn’t know if he was trying to convince them, or himself. Most likely both. 

—

“I’m fine,” Yugyeom protested, sitting up in the hospital bed. He pushed Mark’s hand away from his head. 

“Gyeom-ah, you can’t remember what happened. I feel like that’s not ‘fine’,” BamBam grumbled. 

“The doctor said it was temporary and normal in more severe head wounds, okay? I can’t help that I don’t remember.”

“We just don’t want you in pain, Gyeomie,” Jackson murmured, gently running a hand through his hair, careful to not go too far back or else he’d touch the bandaged injury on the back of his head. 

“It doesn’t hurt too much anymore. It did for a while, and then they turned the painkillers up,” Yugyeom smiled a little lazily. 

“Yah,” Jaebeom pushed him lightly, “stop it.”

“Sorry hyung. Don’t you guys have practice to go to?”

“Our managers are giving us a break until you get out of the hospital. Said there wasn’t much of a point if we were all thinking and worrying about you,” Mark explained. 

“Ah,” Yugyeom nodded. “Where’s Jum-hyung? Has he been by yet?”

“He’s been here when you’ve been asleep,” Jackson said shortly. They offered no more explanation.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Why don’t you go back to sleep? We want you up and walking around as soon as possible,” Youngjae suggested, patting Yugyeom’s hand. 

Yugyeom nodded and laid back down. 

—

“I can’t believe you don’t remember, sweetie,” Jum pouted.

“Hyung, I fell down the stairs and literally split my head open, of course I don’t remember the couple of hours building up to that point. I’m sorry I don’t remember, but I can’t do anything about it. Besides, if it’s so important, the doctor said I’d be getting my memory back soon enough.”

“It’s okay, Yugyeomie.” Jum gave him a kiss and a delicate smile. 

—

Yugyeom yelped as a glass shattered next to his head, a couple pieces embedding in the skin of his cheek. He cowered, Jum slamming his hand where the glass had shattered moments ago. 

“If you so much as hint that I pushed you down the stairs, I’m going to kill you,” Jum growled. Yugyeom flinched back, bringing his hands up to protect his face. Jum pushed his hands away and slammed his head into the wall, partially re-opening the wound on the back of Yugyeom’s head. He pulled away and Yugyeom slid down the wall, stunned. Jum gave him a harsh kick in the side, forcing the air out of Yugyeom’s lungs. 

“Won’t your precious hyungs be so disappointed to find out you can’t even keep yourself from falling down a flight of stairs?” 

“That was you!” Yugyeom cried, using his arms to cover his head so Jum couldn’t injure him any further.

“You deserve it, you know. You’ve been awful to me. You’re never around, never home. You always blow me off, always.”

Yugyeom didn’t respond, simply keeping quiet. Maybe if he kept quiet he wouldn’t be hit anymore. 

Jum just clicked his tongue and pushed Yugyeom aside. Yugyeom held his breath and waited for him to walk off. He needed to go to practice. 

—

“Hyungs,” Yugyeom sniffled, voice a little wet, a little too soft, “why haven’t you noticed yet?” He coughed weakly. His head ached and he felt like he’d been run over with a truck. He brought a hand up to the back of his head and winced. He pulled it back in front of him and spotted the red coating his fingers. He dropped his hand back down and slumped further against the wall. He’d been at practice for about half an hour. They were on a short break and everyone had left to use the bathroom or refill water. 

When he’d woken up that morning, he’d remembered what had happened before he’d fallen down the stairs. He remembered the hand pushing him, remembered Jum and him arguing, remembered Jum chasing him down the stairs. He’d tried to keep quiet so he could get out of the apartment, but couldn’t help the way he’d flinched away every time Jum came near, and his boyfriend knew that Yugyeom remembered. 

Yugyeom let out a weak breath. His head rested against the wall and he was sure that when he moved it was going to leave a red stain. His everything ached. He’d been trying so hard to keep it hidden, Jum had threatened his life, after all, but it hurt so bad. Yugyeom hiccuped, a few tears leaking down his face. He could feel the blood on the back of his head running down his neck and soaking into the fabric of his light-colored shirt. Somebody needed to come back soon. He’d been wearing a hat and a mask for the whole practice, insisting he felt a bit sick and didn’t want anybody to get sick either. The actual reason for the was to cover the cuts he’d gotten from the glass. The hat was to cover the cut on his head. He’d taken them off when his hyungs had left the room and he didn’t have the energy to put them back on. 

Yugyeom weakly looked up when he heard the door open. He tried for just a second to look composed, but he lost the will to care. He just wanted his hyungs to take care of him, even if it didn’t last long.

“What the hell-”

“Yugyeom-ah!”

“Oh my god!”

There was a gentle hand lifting Yugyeom’s head up and Jackson appeared in the youngest’s field of vision. Jinyoung was knelt next to him and Youngjae was hovering behind them, a look of worry plastered to his face, phone pressed to his ear. He jerked in surprise and began speaking to whoever was on the phone with him. 

“Gyeom-ah, can you hear me?” Jinyoung asked, coming closer. Yugyeom blinked sluggishly but managed to tilt his head down slightly, trying to nod. 

“Okay, good, that’s good.”

“Keep him awake!” Youngjae yelped, and suddenly Yugyeom opened his eyes. When had he closed them?

“Hey, come on, Gyeomie, keep listening to me. Keep looking at me.”

“Shit, how much blood has he lost? The wall is stained!”

“Hey, no! Hey! Yugyeom! Yugyeom!”

—

Yugyeom groaned loudly. Everything felt fuzzy. He whimpered when something brushed against the back of his head but a cold-to-the-touch pressure was applied and he quieted down. Something cold wiped across his face, which he hadn’t realized was burning until that moment. A blanket lightly covering his legs was tugged up further and Yugyeom fought to open his eyes, even if just for a moment. 

They flicked open just so, but not enough for anybody not looking hard enough to notice. There was a nurse on his left, a few bloodied bandages on her cart, but when he felt some more pressure on the back of his head he realized she must be wrapping whatever happened to the back of his head. A quick glance to his left revealed a hand with a few distinct rings adorning it that was resting on Yugyeom’s thigh, comforting more than anything else. 

“Oh, Jaebeom-ssi, I believe he’s waking up,” the nurse quietly announced as she finished wrapping Yugyeom’s head. She quietly pushed the cart out of the room so she could call the doctor in while Jaebeom had a moment. 

“Gyeomie?” the soothing voice of his leader came and surrounded Yugyeom. He opened his eyes a bit further and made eye contact with his hyung. 

“Hi,” Jaebeom smiled, taking Yugyeom’s left hand and clasping it in both of his own, “I’m so glad you’re awake, Yugyeom-ah.”

“Mm,” Yugyeom nodded, “what happened? I remember I passed out.”

“Well, you more than just passed out. I’ll spare you the details for now, but you’ve been out for a few days. You managed to reopen the split on your skull even wider, so they closed it and have put huge emphasis on letting you rest. Said that headaches, temporary short term memory loss, and nosebleeds are common side effects of head injuries like yours, especially because you also have a concussion. You’ve got some bruised ribs, none broken though, and some small cuts in your where they found some tiny glass shards still stuck. In addition to all of this. You have a lot of bruising on your forearms, most of which can be compared to the shape of a hand, like somebody grabbed your arms and wouldn’t let go.”

Yugyeom just took it in. 

“Did you find him?” Yugyeom asked quietly, the first thing he’d said since the practice he’d passed out at. 

“Police found Ryu Jum holed up in a shitty hotel 25 miles outside of Seoul. He used your credit card, which is how they tracked him down, and he took a whole host of your things with him. If they don’t nail him for assault and battery, then they’ll nail him for stealing, at least.”

“Okay,” Yugyeom accepted. 

“Yugyeomie, besides the physical injuries, how are you feeling?”

“Well, not very good. When I realized my verbally and mentally abusive boyfriend tried to harm me, and succeeded, by pushing me down the stairs, he then went on to beat the shit out of me so bad I’ve lost three days. I don’t know what to say,” Yugyeom gasped, struck with the realization of what had happened. “He tried to kill me. I really think he did. He threw a glass at my head; he split my head open on the wall.”

“I’m really sorry we didn’t notice, Yugyeom. We had no idea. We didn’t like Jum, but we didn’t know how much he’d been hurting you.”

“It’s okay-”

“It’s not okay!”

“Hyung, please listen. It’s okay because I hid it. I had no intention of letting you guys see what was happening. Sure, there are things you may have noticed, but I played them off every single time. There was no feasible way you were going to catch on unless I messed up big. You’re all extremely busy and don’t have time to get in depth on every little thing everybody does. It’s probably why I was able to hide it so well, too. Do not guilt yourself into feeling like you could have done more because it was me that didn’t want you guys to know.”

“You could have told us,” Jaebeom insisted. 

“To be honest, hyung, I didn’t realize anything was wrong until he started to physically hurt me. I know now, because I can see it when I look back, he gaslighted me quite a bit, I think, but it was only when he bruises my arm that I started realizing maybe something was wrong. He was so nice to me, hyung, just so sweet. I didn’t notice when he started contradicting me because it was such a small change, and I guess I got so used to it I didn’t notice that he wasn’t like he’d been originally. So please don’t say I could have told you, because I needed to accept the change had happened before anything else.”

Jaebeom just nodded. 

“Where’s everybody else?” Yugyeom asked.

“We’ve been taking shifts to stay with you. We all stayed the first night, but our managers ordered us all home. We eventually managed to compromise and we’ve been taking shifts since then. I sent Youngjae home about an hour ago.”

Yugyeom was going to respond, but a kind looking woman knocked on the door and poked her head inside. 

“Yugyeom-ssi, I’m very glad to see you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright,” Yugyeom answered kindly. Jaebeom scooted a bit closer to Yugyeom, but stayed out of the way so the doctor could come closer. 

“How’s your head? We had to staple it together, so in time those will need to be removed. There weren't any complications with that aspect, but we did check for a concussion and brain swelling. There’s no swelling, which is good, but you do have a rather bad concussion. Some things to note about that is that you’ll most likely get some very bad headaches, some times people get bad nosebleeds, you won’t be able to look at screens or read for a while, and you’ll need to rest, which means no dancing.”

“My head’s as good as it could be, I guess,” Yugyeom mumbled, but the doctor gave him a smile and nodded all the same. 

“Well, as to be expected. Aside from your head injury, we’ve wrapped your ribs because they’re bruised, but it’s not severe. That will probably heal rather quickly. The bruises on your arms should disappear in about a week; they’re not bad, but I would advise against wearing any bracelets, hair-ties, or anything else tight that would sit on top of the bruises. Finally, there were a few small cuts on your face made from shards of glass. All of the glass has been removed and the cuts should heal over like they were never there. The main priority is to watch your head.”

“Thank you,” Yugyeom whispered. 

The doctor nodded and headed back out of the room.

“Do you want me to call the others and tell them to come?” Jaebeom asked.

“I don’t know… I don’t really want them to see me like this, I feel… I feel weak.”

Jaebeom softened. 

“Please don’t feel scared of being weak, Gyeomie. We all support you and we just want you to get better. The boys want to make sure you’re okay and that you feel safe. If you don’t want them to come in person, will you let me video call them?”

“You can call them.” 

Jaebeom pulled out his phone and tapped around to find Jinyoung’s contact. He pressed the button to video call and the ringtone softly played out loud as they waited. 

“Hi, hyung,” Jinyoung greeted, his face swaddled in the fabrics of his hoodie showing up on the screen. 

“Hi, Jinyoungie. Is everyone home?”

“Yeah, we’re all here. We’re watching a movie cause most of us can’t sleep.”

“Pause it for a moment for me, will you?” 

Jinyoung sat up, a bit alarmed. He motioned for somebody offscreen to pause the movie. 

“Is something wrong?” the younger asked, which got the attention of the other boys scattered around the living room. 

“No, just gather everyone up for me for a moment.” 

Within a minute the remaining four members were huddled around the small screen of Jinyoung’s phone. 

“What’s up, hyung?” Jinyoung asked. Jaebeom smiled. 

“Somebody’s awake,” Jaebeom hummed, panning the camera to show Yugyeom. The youngest gave a little wave and the boys over the call gasped and cheered. 

“Yugyeomie! You’re awake!” Youngjae cheered. 

“Oh, I’m so glad you’re alright!” Jinyoung sighed, relaxing back into the couch. 

The others all yelled their happiness, and eventually fell silent when Jackson spoke. 

“I was really scared when I found you, Gyeom-ah. I’m really, really happy you’re awake.”

“Sorry I scared you, Sseunie hyung,” Yugyeom sniffled. Jaebeom grabbed his hand and softly rubbed. 

“We’re all so glad you’re alright, Gyeomie. We’re going to do whatever we can to help you get better,” Mark smiled.

“Thanks,” Yugyeom blubbered, a few tears gathering in his eyes. He felt relieved for the first time in months. 

“I’m gonna let him get back to sleep, guys,” Jaebeom said. They all shouted out a “sleep-well” and Jaebeom ended the call. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and get back to sleep?” Jaebeom hummed, looking at the younger. “One of us will be here when you wake up again.”

“Okay, hyung.”

“Sleep well, Yugyeomie.”


	5. Sasaeng In Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yugyeom keeps getting messages from unknown numbers. Despite his best efforts, including changing his phone number, the messages don't stop until Yugyeom disappears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another request, this time for [kyum97](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kyum97/pseuds/kyum97) ! Hope this is what you were looking for!

“Geez, it really kind of creeps me out, you know,” Jackson shivered, lip curling a bit as he scrolled around on his phone. 

“What does?” Youngjae asked, having heard him even across the practice room. 

“All those missing persons cases happening around here lately. They’re really random and the only connection police have found is the fact that there’s the letter ‘Y’ always someplace around where the person was last seen. So weird, it’s like they could go after anybody at this point,” Jackson explained. 

“Oh, yeah, I read about that the other day,” Jinyoung frowned, “the last few cases have been closer to the studio. I haven’t been going out by myself too much lately, it’s just a bit too unsettling.”

“Is there still nothing about that?” Jaebeom asked from where he was sitting against the wall, drinking some water. “Strange. Hasn’t there been about four people gone missing already?”

“Four they can confirm, anyway,” Jackson piped up.

“Gyeom-ah, have you heard anything? Aren’t the cases kind of around where you live?”

“I haven’t heard anything more than you guys,” the youngest sighed, “but you’re right about them being pretty close to me. The last one lived in the apartment complex across the way from mine.” Yugyeom’s phone chimes softly from where it rested on the ground near his bag. The maknae didn’t move to check it.

“Aren’t you going to see who that is?” Youngjae asked at the same time Jackson asked him why his ringer was on.

“Huh?” Yugyeom asked, not having been able to hear either of them. 

“Your phone? You just got a text alert. Aren’t you going to check it?” Youngjae repeated. 

“Oh, no. I’ll look at it later. If it’s urgent they’ll call or continue to text me.” It chimed again, and yet Yugyeom did not move. He was too busy talking about something with BamBam. 

“Huh.”

——

“I wish this would stop happening,” Yugyeom muttered, angrily swiping on his phone. He tapped around for a minute and his mouth skewed to the side. He huffed, deleting yet another message from a random number that had texted his phone. He desperately needed to change his number. He kept getting texts from different numbers, mostly varying in what the messages said, but they all repeatedly had sent the words “I love you” and it was really starting to creep Yugyeom out. 

His phone dinged and he resorted to putting it on silent. He could deal with the phone being on vibrate, and if even that did not curb the disturbance, he would simply turn his phone on do not disturb or airplane mode. 

As he set the phone down, it dinged once again, and the short look at the characters he saw caught his attention. Knowing his read recipes were turned off, he tapped in. 

“My lovely prince, everything I do is for you. Accept me, please. I love you,” he read aloud to himself. He cringed, going to block the number, but another text from the same number came in as his fingers moved. 

“You smiled at me this morning, though I doubt you remember. How sweet your smile is, the glorious flush to your delicate features, the cold doing it’s job to paint you a pretty red. Imagine, what can I paint you? A better red? Is purple or blue a color that would suit you nicely?”

Yugyeom felt the sudden urge to hurl his phone across the room. He felt violated in a way he’d never really felt before, like his personal trips were being watched and his every move observed. An odd sense of anxiety rushed over him, wondering if somebody was looking at him now. He’d been out of the house once, in the morning, to take Dalkyum on a walk. His brother was at their parents house for the next couple of weeks or so, which meant Yugyeom was alone at home, and as much as Yugyeom adored his little puppy, he wouldn’t be much help if somebody broke in. 

He blocked the number, but made sure to screenshot the messages and the number in case they managed to contact him again. He got ready to text BamBam, they always texted about things that bothered them, but he stopped before hitting send. He could hit send and make his best friend worry about something that would probably end up being insignificant, or he could not text him and not worry him. He deleted the message and sighed. He could tell Jaebeom, but their leader had been rather overwhelmed recently. His parents were having some health issues at home, so Yugyeom thought it best not to bother him. The others had almost all mentioned being tired recently, and Yugyeom didn’t want to be a bother. He gave one last glance to the screenshot he’d taken and turned his phone off. He shivered, feeling like he was being watched despite being on one of the highest floors of his apartment building. 

——

Yugyeom changed his phone number. The next day he got a message lamenting over how much difficulty the sender had experienced getting the number, but ultimately prevailed. The following day, the owner of the shop Yugyeom had gotten both a new phone and a new number from was officially declared missing and part of the ongoing investigation. The letter Y had been carved into the wall of the shop. 

——

Yugyeom’s hands shook as he blocked another number. His camera roll was becoming filled with these pictures and he was starting to get concerned about them. He’d never been messaged so persistently, never gotten such graphic texts either. He was debating if he should tell management or not, but some part of him, deep in the back of his head, figured they wouldn’t care much anyway. 

Yugyeom sent a text to Jaebeom, asking if he would stay a few minutes after their next practice so they could talk. Jaebeom told him it would have to wait; his father had fallen ill. Yugyeom responded with a smiling emoji and the simple words “it’s alright!”

——

Yugyeom started getting calls and being left voicemails. His inbox became filled with heavy breathing. His entire body begged to delete them, but he knew he might need them if this ever got worse. 

Yugyeom absently watched Dalkyum run around and bite a leaf that was laying on the ground. After a couple moments the dog let it go and they continued on their walk. Yugyeom’s phone, still in do not disturb, received a notification. 

‘You look beautiful today. Dalkyum has eaten another leaf and your fond smile makes my insides melt like no other has ever done before. Won’t you let me have you? Touch you? Why can’t I preserve that angelic beauty? My prince, how handsome. I love you. I will make you mine. Soon.’

——

Yugyeom hummed softly, head gently nodding to the beat. He was playing around in the studio, having fun with some music and making up choreography as he went. He hadn’t let go like this in a while, but the stress, anxiety, and paranoia had been building up so much that he desperately needed the release he got from dancing. He had a little bit of space at home, but nothing beat a dance studio he had all to himself. They’d all been here earlier for the rather short practice they’d had in the later afternoon, but now it was just Yugyeom. He really needed to get the bad emotions out of his system and dancing was a great outlet for him. 

Yugyeom turned the music down and set his phone down. He needed to go to the bathroom quickly so he left the practice room and quickly made his way to the bathroom. He washed his hands when he finished and headed back down the hall to the practice room. The hall was pretty dark, the windows only showing the darkness outside. The actual lights were rather dim, not illuminating much. He approached the door to the practice room, hand reaching for the doorknob, when something hit the back of his head, hard. He collapsed to the ground, stunned but still conscious. 

“Shit,” a voice swore. Another sharp hit to his head had him reeling. He groaned, black starting to creep in. His eyes rolled back and he went limp, passed out. Somebody began to drag him from the building. 

——

“Have any of you guys heard from Yugyeom?” BamBam asked, as he approached the other members. They were hanging around in the lobby of the JYPE building, waiting for all of the members because Mark had gotten them all drinks before coming. Yugyeom was now the only one who hadn’t arrived. 

“Should we just go up? He could have come earlier and he just didn’t see our messages?” Jackson offered. The rest agreed and headed up to the practice room. The room was silent, indicating nobody was inside. Jaebeom pushed open the door wearily and stepped inside. Yugyeom’s things from the previous day were still laying on the floor and his phone was still plugged into the aux cord. 

“I don’t like this,” Youngjae murmured, the general anxiety in the room beginning to build. Jinyoung dug around in Yugyeom’s bag, only to find his wallet left untouched and keys still tucked into a pocket. 

“His things are still here. Is he in the bathroom?” BamBam offered, but everybody knew it was a weak idea. 

“This is all from yesterday,” Jaebeom announced, strained, but everybody knew that. 

“Check his phone?” Jackson tried, watching Mark pick it up and unplug it from the aux. 

“It’s dead. It must have been playing music all night,” the oldest replied. “Does anybody have a charger with them?”

BamBam hastily pulled out a charging cord and handed it to Mark. The older plugged it into the wall and then into the phone. It lit up, showing it didn’t have enough battery to turn on. 

“Let’s leave it for a few minutes,” Jaebeom suggested, but everyone stayed still. They waited until it turned on, nobody moving a muscle. When the screen finally lit up, Mark unlocked it using the password—they all knew each others, it wasn’t difficult to guess—and almost dropped the phone. 

“What’s wrong?” Jinyoung asked, coming closer. 

“He has texts from some random number. Actually, a lot of texts from a lot of random numbers. All of them say weird things, they sound like they’re from fans. Woah, wait, the most recent one says ‘I’ve finally got you’ with a heart emoji. That’s… that’s weird, isn’t it? Please tell me that’s weird.” Mark turned to look at the others, phone clutched so tightly in his hand his knuckles were beginning to turn white. 

“That’s definitely weird,” Jackson hissed. 

“We need to call somebody,” BamBam insisted, turning to their leader only to find him with his phone already to his ear. A quick glance at Jinyoung showed the same. They had clearly had a hushed conversation and decided to take action. 

They waited for management to show up, telling them everything, and soon the police were called. The messages on the phone were the true indicator something was wrong. The boys had discovered countless screenshots of messages sent to Yugyeom and numbers he had blocked. They were all incredibly disturbing and the ones that related to watching Yugyeom needed to be looked into further. 

Their management cancelled their practices and told them they should stick together until they got this sorted out better. 

“We should go check on Dalkyum,” Jinyoung suggested, one arm wrapped around Youngjae, who was very obviously having a bit of a difficult time pulling himself together. 

“He probably hasn’t eaten in a while. Let’s go to Yugyeom’s apartment and see if we can find anything else,” Jaebeom agreed. They piled into Mark’s car and headed to the youngest’s apartment building. It was a good thing BamBam had the set of keys to the building. They headed up to Yugyeom’s apartment and unlocked the door. Dalkyum was sitting right in front of it and immediately started whining, running up to Jaebeom and jumping up at him. 

“Ah, it’s okay,” Jaebeom soothed, crouching down. “Let’s give him something to eat and drink quick and two of us can take him on a walk.”

They filled his bowl and let him eat before Youngjae and Jackson went to take him on a brisk walk. 

“There’s nothing here, really,” BamBam sighed as he looked around. 

“Euigyeom isn’t here because he’s staying with their parents for a few weeks, so he wouldn’t know anything either. Shit, we need to contact his parents,” Jaebeom sighed. 

“Management is going to take care of that, alright? Let’s just wait for Jackson and Youngjae to get back. We need to take a breath here. This might be the work of a fan; although they’ve been known to definitely go way overboard, if they actually care about Yugyeom they might not hurt him. We need to have high hopes right now. We can’t be expecting the worst, it won’t do us any good,” Mark stated, voice firm. “We can’t waste time worrying over things we have no control of. The police are looking into it, management is fully supporting it, this is being kept quiet for now. We need to stay calm and have faith Yugyeom will be alright.”

——

Yugyeom’s head hurt. He wasn’t sure where he was. It was dark and he felt a soft, steady beat of air against his upper body. He could feel the fabric of his shirt and his pants against his skin, so he was still dressed, but he was sitting upright. He tried moving his hand but it wouldn’t move. Something tight was wrapped around his arms. Something was wrapped around his legs, his thighs, and his chest. 

“Hello?” he called out hoarsely, throat dry. He coughed, weakly tugging at the restraints, but he felt dizzy and a wave of intense vertigo sent him reeling. He closed his eyes and let his head drop; it was too heavy to hold up. 

“Hi,” a soft voice called back, and Yugyeom struggled to lift his head up. 

“Who’s there?” Yugyeom croaked.

“I’m so happy to see you’re awake! I’m glad those few hits to the head didn’t injure you too much, but it was the only way I could safely rescue you from the outside world. I gave you some new clothes, but I didn’t touch your underwear. I’m protecting your purity, Yugyeomie! What an unblemished, beautiful creature you are. I researched everything! I have the best moisturizers for your skin, your most purchased shampoo and conditioner, I even bought the same body wash you use! It’s such a wonderful scent, you know, enticing to everybody near.”

A small light was turned on, only a singular lightbulb to illuminate the room. A tall girl with dark brown hair was by the light switch, not well lit because she was too far away. She slinked into view, revealing light skin, painted nails, expensive-looking jewelry, and an outfit that was most likely all found at brand-name stores. The whole ordeal screamed expensive and put together. Yugyeom could hardly keep his head up to look at her. The anxiety and panic building in his chest was beginning to suffocate him with how strong it overcame his senses. 

“I’m sorry if you’re still feeling a bit drowsy, Yugyeomie, but I had to give you some medicine to make sure you stayed asleep. It’ll wear off soon enough, but I couldn’t risk you waking up and hurting yourself. Now that you’re here, safe, the drug can wear off. If you’re nice I could even undo the restraints! It’s all for keeping you safe, my darling prince.” 

“Where… are we?” Yugyeom asked, only being able to process so much at once. 

“A place for keeping your mind, body, and soul pure from the outside world! In here I can shield you from all the disgusting wretches and mistakes of outside.”

“Who?” Yugyeom managed to whisper. 

“Me? Why, I’m who’s helping you out. I’ll keep your skin clear and shining, I’ll help you shower, I’ll pick out outfits and get you dressed, we can take walks together, we can even simply spend time together. It will be such an amazing life, Yugyeomie!”

“But… hyungs?” he rasped, but it was as if his voice had nowhere to go. The noise died in his throat and the question was left unheard and unanswered. The world tumbled back into the unknowing black. 

——

“Hey, guys, listen to this! We got a call in that an idol has gone missing! Have you heard of Kim Yugyeom? Yeah, GOT7? Well his phone is filled with screenshots of some creepy sounding texts; could be a good place to start?”

——

“You think it’s connected to all the other missing persons cases? Same person? Coincidence or not?”

“Was Kim Yugyeom the target all along? Or is he just another name in a long list of names, and happens to be more famous than the rest?”

“The tests indicate he’s the real target, don’t you think?”

——

“Guys! A bunch of these numbers are from burner phones, but the first one he got, or at least the first text he took a screenshot of, that number connects to this woman’s phone, a Gyo Sang-Hee. She’s got multiple emails and social media accounts linked to her name and to each other. They all seem to be about… Kim Yugyeom? It looks as though she’s been posting rather obsessively about this guy, reporting people who say bad things about him, trashing them, even going so far as to directly message them through these social media networks. I have a feeling that, if we find where this girl lives, we might find Kim Yugyeom.”

“You think she’s responsible for the other missing people?”

“Most of the missing people are those she’s blocked or messages on social media. It’s like she’s trying to protect this guy, but she’s doing it in an incredibly twisted way.”

——

“Hey, guys! I found an address! Let’s go!”

——

“On the ground! Hands behind your back!”

There was some scuffling. 

“Kim Yugyeom?”

“Yeah,” a voice croaked. The boy was splayed out on the floor. 

“Shit, the back of your head looks to be bleeding. Somebody get an ambulance here!”

——

Jackson’s knee bounced wildly, his fingers pulling at the plastic armrest of the chair he was sitting in. His stomach was tight and his nerves were going insane. He was waiting for the others to arrive at the hospital. He’d gotten a call from one of their managers saying that the police had found Yugyeom and he had been brought to the nearest hospital. Jackson had been closest to the hospital and therefore had made it into the waiting room first, but the receptionist said Yugyeom was still being worked on. Not operated, not having surgery done, just work. Jackson took it as a good sign, because at least it likely meant the boy wasn’t severely physically injured. 

“Sseun-ah!” a voice called, causing Jackson to snap his gaze to the side. He saw a relieved looking Mark dragging Youngjae behind him. 

“Hey guys,” Jackson greeted, letting both of the men hug him. “You must have been hanging out together?”

“We were watching a movie and Mark-hyung got a call. We came as fast as we could. Are you the only one here?” Youngjae breathed.

“So far.”

BamBam was the next to arrive in a flurry of fabric. He was swaddled in a long coat and a nice scarf, looking worried but still happy. Yugyeom had been found, and that was what was most important. 

It was as Jaebeom arrived that a nurse called Yugyeom’s name, looking for his family. Jinyoung was still on his way, but Mark was already composing a text and telling him what was going on. They were led down the hall and around a little further until they reached a more isolated hall. 

“So he’s still drowsy, they had to do some stitches on the back of his head so when he does get a bit more conscious, tell him not to move around too much,” the nurse advised as she opened the door. Yugyeom was laid out in the bed, hair spread around his head, on the pillow. His eyes were lidded, but still open. He seemed tense; as soon as his eyes landed on BamBam—the first through the door—it was like the stress melted away. 

“Hi, Yugyeom-ssi,” the nurse greeted, “is everything feeling alright? Not too much pain?”

“No, thank you,” he replied softly, giving her a little smile before she hurried from the room. Mark slipped inside after she left and shut the door. 

The members crowded around Yugyeom, all forcing each other out of the way to hug him. BamBam made it first, and after that it was a free-for-all. 

“Where’s Jinyoung?” Yugyeom asked when Jaebeom, the last to hug him, pulled away. 

“Unfortunately, he’s stuck in traffic trying to get here. He was doing some schedule for acting because they couldn’t delay it any longer, but as soon as he got a call saying you were in the hospital he left. He said another thirty minutes, at most,” Mark replied. 

“Are you alright, Yugyeomie?” Jackson asked, grabbing a hold of Yugyeom’s hand and holding it close to his chest. 

“I think I’ll be okay, hyung. To be completely honest, the girl that took me didn’t hurt me at all, except for when she knocked me out. It was more unnerving and disturbing more than anything else. I’m a bit scared she’s going to come find me, and I think I’ll need to get new locks on my doors for my own sake and get another new phone number, but yeah, hyung, I think I’m alright for now.”

Jackson nodded, satisfied with the truthful answer. 

“I really missed you guys,” Yugyeom whispered. The boys gave their maknae blinding smiles. A soft knock hit the door and it opened to reveal a sweaty, slightly messy, out-of-breath Jinyoung. His eyes landed on Yugyeom, who gave him a dopey smile, and Jinyoung hurried forward to give him a tight hug. 

“I’m so glad you’re alright,” Jinyoung sighed, squeezing him tight. He pulled back slightly. “You’re alright, right?” 

“Yes, I’m fine. Did the nurse tell you guys what happened?” Yugyeom asked. 

“Apart from the stitches on the back of your head, no,” Youngjae replied. 

“Ah, well, there’s some rope burn from where I was tied up, but if I’m remembering it correctly, as soon as I asked the girl to untie me, she did. The door was locked with a code, so even if I did manage to take the girl out in some way, I would have needed to code to get out.” The boy shifted s bit, trying to remember more, but clearly not really wanting to talk about it too much. 

“You know what, Yugyeomie, we don’t have to talk about it right now. You should just get some rest,” Mark cut in, like he had read the youngest’s mind. 

“Thanks, hyung.” The maknae shifted a little, closing his eyes, long eyelashes standing out against pale skin. Soon enough he was asleep, breathing deep and even. The boys deemed they would never leave him on his own again.


	6. A Little Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wherein Yugyeom gets extra attention from his friends and GOT6 are not very pleased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a request by [ShadowLupus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowLupus/pseuds/ShadowLupus) so I hope I did what you wanted. Ultimately I ended up having Yugyeom go out with Jungkook, Jimin, and Tae, so hopefully that's alright.  
> Sorry this was so late, I took a break for a while but I got inspired to write so here it is!

“Bye hyungs! I’m going out! I’ll be back tonight!” Yugyeom called throughout the dorm, a bag slung over one shoulder and a hat and mask hiding his face. 

“Text us when you’re on your way back!” Jaebeom called, probably the only one of the other members that was awake. It was pretty early, especially for a day they had off. Everyone tended to sleep in, even the more responsible of the bunch, but today Yugyeom had made some extra effort to wake up because he had plans to hang out with Jungkook. When the slightly older man had learned they both had the day off he’d practically demanded they spend the day together, and now it was happening. 

Yugyeom locked the door behind him and hurried downstairs. Jungkook legitimately had the whole day planned; he’d even gone so far as to write a list and send it to Yugyeom so the younger could be prepared. They were going to first go to a cafe to get coffee, then to a restaurant for brunch, then Jungkook planned to take him to a park where they would be meeting up with Jimin and Taehyung so they could walk around for a while, then they’d go and see a movie or two together, they’d then go and get dinner together, then they were planning to go bowling to end the night off. Yugyeom was pretty excited. Sure, the day was packed full and he was sure to be absolutely exhausted by the end of it, but he was excited to see his best friend outside of his group and the two others.

“Yugyeomie!” Jungkook cheered when the boy exited the doors. He collided into him for a tight hug and pulled back, smiling like a fool. 

“Hi, Jungkookie!”

The slightly shorter of the two picked Yugyeom up and spun him in a circle, like they do in cheesy, romantic movies, causing Yugyeom to let out a loud, startled laugh.

“Come on, Kookie! You have an iced choco to buy me!” Yugyeom cheered. He let the older pull him into the van that was waiting outside the dorm, a wide grin present on his delicate features. 

——

“Where’s Gyeomie?” Youngjae asked as he slid into the kitchen. Jaebeom and Jinyoung looked up from where they stood near the stove and sink respectively. 

“He left early this morning to spend the day with Jungkook. I have no idea when he’ll be back, but knowing the two of them it could be any time between a few hours or the whole day. We might not even see him until practice tomorrow afternoon,” Jaebeom replied, stirring whatever was in the pot on the stove. 

“Oh, huh. I was going to ask him if he wanted to go shopping with me, I have some stuff I want to buy for my room and then I was going to go to the grocery store.”

“Are you still going to go?” Jinyoung asked. 

“I’ll probably have to drag somebody with me. Do either of you want to come?”

“I’ll come with you,” Jaebeom said, “but it’ll have to be in a little while. Jinyoung and I are doing a bit of meal prep for the week.”

“Okay, sure! Just let me know when you’re ready and we can go,” Youngjae nodded, slipping out of the kitchen and returning to his room. 

A while later BamBam, Mark, and Jackson tumbled into the kitchen. BamBam was latched onto Jackson, looking far more awake than the older two. 

“Hey guys,” Jaebeom greeted. He was now packing some of the things they’d made away in the fridge so they could heat it up when they inevitably had no energy to actually cook.

“Where’s Gyeomie? He said he’d watch a movie with me when we both had free time,” Jackson asked, standing up a bit straighter. He stole a couple of noodles out of the container Jinyoung was holding. 

“He and Jungkook went out this morning,” Jinyoung replied as he slapped Jackson’s hand away. 

“You can watch a movie with me,” Mark offered, though he was still very obviously only half awake. 

“Thanks, hyung,” Jackson laughed. 

“Alright, are we almost done,” Jaebeom mumbled, “so I’m gonna put the last of this away and then I’m going to go to the store with Youngjae.” Jinyoung nodded his approval and waved Jaebeom off. 

Two dings indicating a message was received went off simultaneously from two different phones: Jackson’s phone and BamBam’s phone. At the same time, the phone in Mark’s pocket and the phone on the counter by Jinyoung vibrated. 

“That must be somebody in the group chat if we all got an alert,” BamBam observed, pulling out his phone. “Oh, it’s a few pictures from Yugyeom.”

The four men in the kitchen gathered around to see the pictures of their maknae. The first was of Yugyeom drinking an iced choco out of a cute red and white striped straw. The maknae was showing a peace sign to the camera, head tilted to the side and his smile big even though his teeth were holding the straw in his mouth. The second photo was a selfie, this time being taken by Yugyeom. He was smiling brightly and Jungkook was hovering in the background, seemingly looking around. The third and final picture sent was one taken by Jungkook; it was a selfie of them sitting at a table in a restaurant, breakfast food laid out in front of them. Yugyeom was in the middle of stuffing a piece of a chocolate chip pancake in his mouth, eyes wide as he seemed to have noticed the camera just as Jungkook took the picture. He looked innocent and endearingly adorable. Jungkook had a wide smile plastered on his face as he looked to the camera. Just then, another picture was sent. It was another selfie, this time of Jungkook kissing Yugyeom on the cheek. Yugyeom’s face was dark red, fully flushed even up his ears; he was smiling sheepishly. Jungkook, on the other hand, looked like he was laughing against the younger boy’s cheek. 

“Why is he kissing his cheek?” BamBam grumbled, a bout of jealousy sparking in his chest. 

“Why is his mouth anywhere near him? That would be the better question,” Jinyoung frowned. 

Their phones pinged again and BamBam swiped down to see the news message. 

“Sorry hyungs,” he read aloud, “I meant to send those to just Jungkookie. We’re having fun, though. I don’t know when we’ll be home, but I’ll text you when we’re heading back.”

“I wanted to cuddle with him,” Jackson sighed. “He promised me he’d let me spoon him. I never get to cuddle him anymore, we never have time.”

“Jackson, I’m sure he’ll let you sleep with him when he gets home,” Mark murmured, trying to placate him. 

“But what if I’m already asleep?” Jackson countered.

“Then text him and ask!”

“Fine.”

——

All of GOT7, other than Yugyeom, were curled on in the living room, getting ready to start their second movie of the night, when their phones collectively went off. There was usually only ever one reason for that: somebody in the group chat texted. 

“I’ll look,” Youngjae offered, sitting forward and grabbing his phone from the coffee table. He unlocked it and tapped on the message alert. It opened into the group chat where Youngjae found more pictures sent from Yugyeom’s phone.

“What is it?” Mark asked, looking over Youngjae’s shoulder from where he was half against his back and half shoved into the couch. 

“More pictures. It looks as though they went to a park and met up with Tae and Jimin. They went to a movie, cause there’s a picture of the theatre and they’re eating popcorn. They went out to eat somewhere, too, for dinner. The most recently taken picture is from a bowling alley. Looks like they got there a while ago. Oh, wait-”

Youngjae cut himself off and frowned. He went silent. Laughing then suddenly came from his phone, sounding distinctly like Yugyeom. He was playing a video the younger must have sent. After a couple more moments of Yugyeom laughing he began to protest and whine about something, and even though his hyungs couldn’t see him, they all knew Yugyeom wasn’t actually uncomfortable. They could tell by the tone of voice that he was playing around. 

Youngjae typed something and everybody’s phones dinged, then a few moments later they dinged again. 

“There was a video of the three of them giving him a kiss on the cheek. I asked him what it was for and he said it was a punishment for them because he won their first round of bowling.”

“That’s not…” Jackson started, but he cut himself off with a deep breath and a strangled-sounding noise. 

“Okay, I’m mature enough to admit that upsets me,” Mark muttered. He pulled out his own phone, played the video, and set his phone back down. 

“Could they have done something that’s not kissing?” BamBam asked, a frown now set on his face. “That just feels… ugh. I know it’s completely platonic! I know that. I’m well aware it’s platonic, and yet I really don’t want them to kiss him.”

“I’ll ask him to change the punishment?” Youngjae asked, but he seemed hesitant. However jealous the six of them were, and it was practically impossible to ignore the jealousy they felt in that moment, something about getting possessive over a simple kiss from his best friends—on the cheek—made them hesitate to send anything at all. 

They collectively agreed not to do anything, at least not yet. About an hour and a half later they got another notification. It was from Yugyeom, but immediately after three more messages followed in quick succession. 

“Okay, pause the movie,” Jackson demanded. Jinyoung paused it and they all gathered around Jackson to see what they’d been sent. 

“Okay, ignore the video for now, what do the texts say?” Mark asked from the back of the huddle. 

“So the video was sent, then right after Yugyeom says Jungkook stole his phone to record the video and then sent it to us without his permission. The next says it was his punishment for having the lowest score out of all of them because he did really bad in their last round. The final text says his ass hurts, which really concerns me because there’s not a lot you can do while bowling to make your ass hurt.”

“Hit the video,” Jaebeom muttered, impatient. Jackson did as he was told and tapped into the video. The six of them fell silent as they watched Yugyeom, braced against what was probably Jungkook’s car, take three rather heavy-handed slaps to his ass from Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung. He whined after, a distinctly familiar sound to the six of them, one they often heard after they dealt slaps of their own. 

“You guys suck! Why did we have to choose slapping as the punishment?” Yugyeom complained. 

“You’re the one who gets off on it,” Jungkook teased, and Yugyeom gasped, scandalized. 

“Nu-uh!” Yugyeom protested, sounding all the more like the child his hyungs teased him to be. The video ended with the sound of the three older men laughing.

“Sorry, they’re a bit tipsy,” Jackson read off the screen, another text having come from Yugyeom. 

“Somebody make him come home,” Bamvam pouted. “I wanna hit his ass.”

“BamBam,” Jaebeom breathed with a suffering sigh. “We're not going to do that when he gets home.”

“Oh, he sent something else!” Jackson said, cutting off any more potential conversation. “I’m on my way back. I have to drive them home first because they drank and I didn’t, so I’ll let you know when I leave their place. See you soon, hyungs.”

“Oh goodie,” Mark cheered, “when he gets home we can tell him not to let other people kiss him.” Something about the cheerful words mixed with the expression on his face made the other five uneasy of what exactly Mark had in mind. 

——

“Hyungs, I’m back!” Yugyeom called as he entered the front door. He slipped off his shoes and his jacket and proceeded to get a solid six steps into the house before he was practically tackled by the other members of the household. 

Jinyoung managed to be the first one to him, pushing the others aside enough to make room. He grabbed Yugyeom’s neck and tugged him down into a kiss, unrelenting. 

“Wah, what’s this about,” Yugyeom gasped as Jinyoung finally let him go, but the man didn’t waste another second before their lips connected again. Yugyeom managed to pull away as he started losing his breath, eyes blown wide and lips plump from being bitten so much. He was panting and dazed. 

“Don’t you ever let anybody else kiss you,” Jaebeom demanded, tugging Yugyeom into a kiss himself. The boy felt lightheaded. He weakly gripped at Jaebeom’s shoulders, trying to keep himself steady, knees going a bit weak. 

“Hyung,” he gasped, “did I do something wrong?” Wide, innocent eyes shone bright against his flushed face. 

“I can’t believe you,” Mark grumbled, finally getting his hands on the maknae. Instead of going in for a kiss like the other two, he gripped Yugyeom’s shoulders and shook him. Yugyeom let him, stunned. 

“You let three guys kiss you and slap your ass and you thought we wouldn’t be jealous?” Jackson piped in, not stopping Mark. Yugyeom’s eyes finally flickered with realization and his whole face became three shades darker of red. He pulled away, looking a mix between nervous and ashamed. 

“The kisses were everybody’s punishment! I had to kiss them ‘cause they won other rounds, too. I didn’t think I was gonna lose, so I agreed to the ass slapping. I only lost cause Jimin-hyung cheated. Then Junkookie took a video of me! I was so embarrassed, and then he sent it to you all!” 

“Yugyeomie, it still doesn’t excuse that it happened,” Jaebeom scolded. 

“We’re the only ones who can slap your ass,” BamBam stated firmly. He emphasized his point by hitting Yugyeom’s left cheek, hard. 

“Yah! I’m still sore from the three of them, don’t be hitting me!” Yugyeom shouted, surprised, jumping up slightly and turning to glare at BamBam. 

“Don’t let them touch you like that,” Jinyoung whispered in his ear, eyes dark. He looped an arm around Yugyeom’s waist and squeezed tight. 

“I-I won’t, hyungs. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it, Yugyeomie, as long as it doesn’t happen again it’s no big deal.” Youngjae smiled. 

“Yeah, you’re ours to touch and kiss,” Jackson murmured. Yugyeom didn’t think his skin could get so red from how hard he was blushing. 

He nodded obediently, a small smile on his face when his hyungs peppered his face with little kisses. To be fair, it was a lot more enjoyable than when he’d been bowling. 

Somebody hit his ass again and he yelped.

“Stop it!” 

BamBam cackled. 


	7. Twitter Revalations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people Yugyeom used to know create problems, but his hyungs won't let him be sad for long.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The second story for frae! This one was a bit wacky and I'm not too sure it's exactly what you wanted, but I really hope it fulfills some of what you were looking for.   
> Please enjoy!

“I’m going to lose my mind,” Yugyeom groaned, dropping his phone onto his bed and taking on a deep breath. He needed to calm down. He couldn’t be getting emotional right now. This wasn’t the time. 

“Is something wrong?” Jackson asked as he passed Yugyeom’s room, popping his head in for just a second to stare at the boy angrily sitting on his bed. 

“No, not really, just some friends and I having a little disagreement over something,” Yugyeom sighed, resting his hand on his cheek and shrugging his shoulders. His phone was in his other hand, thumb typing something out. His expression got a bit darker as he glared at the screen. 

“Doesn’t seem too little if you’re this upset about it,” Jackson countered, shuffling into the room and moving to set the laundry basket he’d been carrying onto the floor. 

“No, hyung, seriously. I’m fine. You don’t need to come sit and talk it over with me. I’m figuring it out, I’m just giving myself some time to cool down. They’re just trying to get on my nerves.”

“Alright, alright,” Jackson conceded. He raised an arm in defense and backed out of the room. He closed the door with a soft click and Yugyeom took a deep breath. He flopped onto his bed and tried to think of a good response. 

“Is he alright?” Mark asked peering at the door curiously from where he was waiting for Jackson at the end of the hall. He was curious why the younger man had walked into Yugyeom’s room. 

“I think he’s okay,” Jackson hummed, “or at least he will be.”

——

It’s late when BamBam hears Yugyeom’s phone ringing incessantly. The younger one had been typing on it for a while. BamBam had been almost asleep, listening to the familiar keyboard noises coming from his phone, when Yugyeom had stood up. Yugyeom had made his way out of the room quietly, most likely to go to the bathroom, and while he was away the phone had begun to ring. It had already rang through twice now and BamBam was tempted to get out of bed and turn it off, but he was so warm. 

BamBam heard the toilet flush and the sink run water and Yugyeom trudged back into the room. He picked up his phone and turned the ringer off. He silenced the call. When it rang again, he didn’t hesitate to hit the power button to make the call stop ringing. Again and again it rang until Yugyeom finally answered it with a hushed and sharp “what” flying from his lips

He had a hushed conversation, clearly struggling to stay quiet. Eventually, the boy slammed the phone down on his nightstand, too keyed up to care about noise. BamBam jerked.

“Are you okay?” BamBam asked, sitting up and rubbing a bit at his eyes, expecting Yugyeom to answer truthfully. Considering how angry he seemed to be, answering truthfully meant BamBam needed to be awake. 

“It’s nothing,” Yugyeom replied. He turned and faced the fall, back to BamBam, and didn’t make another noise. BamBam let his hand drop from his face. 

“It doesn’t seem like nothing, though?”

“Leave it, Bam.”

——

The front door was shut harder than usual. It wasn’t a slam, not exactly, but there was some force behind it as it clicked into place. It certainly got Jinyoung’s attention. His eyes flicked up from the kitchen counter, where he was making dinner, to the front door. 

Yugyeom kicked off his shoes, and though he put them away nicely, the way his shoulders were hunched made Jinyoung feel a bit of concern zip through his chest. His phone was gripped tightly in his hand, still on. It was opened to a message of some kind, but Jinyoung couldn’t see exactly what it was about.

“Gyeom-ah?” Jinyoung asked cautiously, just trying to get the younger's attention. Yugyeom glanced over and for a split second Jinyoung swore he could see glassy eyes and flushed skin. Yugyeom turned away and hurried to his room. The sound of the door locking loudly echoed through the dorm. 

The whistling of the kettle on the stove brought Jinyoung back to his dinner. He moved slowly, shuffling backwards, away from the front door. Youngjae shuffled down the hall and appeared in the hallway. 

“Was that Yugyeom? I saw him go into his room. Did he look upset to you?”

“Yeah, he did,” Jinyoung frowned. The two shared a concerned glance.

——

Yugyeom believes he is home alone when he gets a call that throws him over the edge. He’s sitting on the couch with tears streaming down his face, phone pressed to his ear with one hand and the other hand on his forehead. He sucked back the noises trying to leave him and just listened to the endless berating from the other side of the phone. 

“Gyeom-ah?” Jaebeom asked, startling Yugyeom hard enough to make the boy drop his phone. Jaebeom sees that the call is still going when Yugyeom scrambles to pick it up from the ground. He fell to his knees from the couch and snatched the phone from the ground. 

“No, no,” he said, but he flinched and pulled the phone away from his ear. Jaebeom saw the call end, indicating that whoever had been on the other end had ended it themselves. 

Yugyeom took a deep breath. He was still on his hands and knees on the floor, facing away from Jaebeom.

“Gyeom-ah, are you alright?” he asked quietly, not wanting to scare him off. He wasn’t sure what was going on, so he figured the best approach was a slow one. 

Yugyeom turned his head to face Jaebeom and the older man almost gasped. He had puffy eyes rimmed with red and his skin flushed with blotches of the same color. His hair was everywhere and his face seemed to be shiny from the wetness of his leaky eyes. 

“Yugyeom?” he asked again, which seemed to return the man to earth. He shakily stood up and slipped his phone in his pocket. 

“Can I help you with something, hyung?” Yugyeom asked, desperately wiping at his face. He sniffed and avoided eye contact. 

“Is something wrong? Who was that on the phone just then?”

“Nobody important.”

“Gyeom-”

“Do you need something?” Yugyeom asked again. 

“Just want to know if you’re alright?”

“I’m fine.”

“But-”

Yugyeom turned on his heel and ran to his room before Jaebeom could say another word. 

——

“Hyung, have you seen this?” Jinyoung asked Jaebeom, handing the older man his phone. It was opened to Twitter, something Jaebeom himself didn’t often check. 

“What is it?” he asked as he grabbed the phone, eyes adjusting to the bright light in the dimly lit room. His eyes immediately caught the name of GOT7’s maknae in the tweet, along with the words “fight”, “disagreement”, and a few other things that set Jaebeom’s anxiety alight. 

“It’s a tweet about Yugyeom-ah that’s been getting a lot of attention. Some guy and girl that went to school with him apparently had some kind of disagreement with him involving something he did back in school? I’m not sure who started it, the screenshots don’t go back that far, but people are starting to take sides and the more popular it gets the more it runs the risk of getting into popular media sources and becoming a big deal.”

“What’s the argument about?” Jaebeom asked, eyebrows furrowed together. 

“Well, that’s the bigger problem, hyung. Apparently, back in school, Yugyeom-ah said some pretty nasty things to these two. In the screenshots, Yugyeom says he doesn’t remember ever saying anything mean to them, but the two of them have screenshots and pictures from the three of them back in school. The thing is, nobody knows if the screenshots and the pictures are real, and people are taking sides. Aghases are defending him already, but I’m starting to think we seriously need to talk to Yugyeom-ah before this gets out of hand.”

“I’d agree with you on that,” Jaebeom nodded. “I don’t think I believe them either, but still, we should talk to him about this.”

It was like fate was giving them a break because it was at that moment that Yugyeom trudged into view, hair a complete mess and body decked out in a full set of sweats. 

“Gyeom-ah,” Jaebeom called, getting his attention. The boy looked up, rubbing at his face. 

“Huh?” he asked, shuffling forward. 

“There’s a tweet about you that’s getting some negative attention, about some friends of yours exposing some things you said to them when you were in school together. Do you know what this is about?” Jaebeom asked.

Yugyeom’s mouth fell open. 

“A tweet?” he asked weakly. 

“Yeah, by some guy named-”

“Song Gyu.”

“Yeah. How do you know?”

“You remember when I was on the phone with somebody a few nights ago, on the couch? And you asked me if I was okay?” Yugyeom asked. Jinyoung cast the pair a confused look but Jaebeom nodded in understanding immediately. 

“I was talking to him and his girlfriend. What… what did the tweet say?”

“Well, it’s screenshots of texts you’ve supposedly been sending in the past few days. It’s also screenshots of texts you supposedly sent him back in school that say some pretty horrible things. Gyeom-ah, what was this whole argument about? Why were you crying?”

Yugyeom took a deep breath.

“Back in school, both Song Gyu and the girl were on the dance team with me. I hung out with them a lot because Song Gyu was my hyung and his girlfriend was my age, so we all got along well. I also hung out with others, but the point is that we were pretty good friends for a year or so. When we were practicing together, he wanted to try some tricking. I told him he shouldn’t because we didn’t have a spotter and I didn’t know how to do it. He did it anyway, without me trying to help because I told him he wouldn’t, and he ended up breaking his leg. He was off the team for the rest of the year while it healed, and it was his graduation year, so he missed out on being scouted because he couldn’t dance. He blamed me for it because he says I should have spotted him, but he shouldn’t have done it in the first place! I thought that, when we stopped taking to one another, it was over and he’d leave me alone. A few weeks ago I started getting messages about it, from him and the girl. Anytime I’ve been staring at my phone it’s probably because of him. Not only that, but they’ve been cursing me out, threatening to sue, threatening to go public, among other things. Jaebeom-hyung, when I was on my phone on the couch, I was talking to Song Gyu. He was saying how he’d be going public if I didn’t compensate for all the hospital bills he had, but it was years ago and I still don’t understand why he’s bringing it all back up now. It was late and I was overwhelmed, and he was demanding I pay him, but then you startled me and I dropped my phone and he hung up on me when I told him ‘no’ again.”

Yugyeom’s shoulders were hunched, face a bit flushed and eyes a bit wet. 

“It’s okay, Gyeomie,” Jinyoung soothed, “we’ll tell the company everything and they’ll get it sorted out. If it comes down to it, you know us hyungs would never believe somebody over you. We’ll defend you, Yugyeomie, always.”

“Thanks,” Yugyeom accepted, but the tears in his eyes didn’t leave. 

——

Jaebeom informed the company of what Yugyeom told them after the younger had gone back to bed. He and Jinyoung had then gathered the rest of their members and told them what was going on as well. BamBam had immediately gone to cuddle Yugyeom when they’d finished talking with Jackson not far behind. Mark had stayed to talk and Youngjae had fallen silent next to the trio. 

“The company is deciding what to do. All we can do now is wait for them to make a decision,” Jaebeom sighed. 

Jinyoung’s phone dinged again. He looked down to see a notification that Jackson had tweeted something. 

“Oh…” Jinyoung said, sitting up; he unlocked his phone to read the tweet. “Seven or never.”

“What?” Jaebeom asked, confused. 

“Jackson just tweeted the words ‘seven or never’ in Korean, English, and Cantonese.”

It’s only moments later that Jinyoung’s phone gets another notification from Twitter, this time from BamBam’s account. It had the same message that Jackson had, only this time it was in Korean, English, and Thai. 

“BamBam tweeted the same thing,” Jinyoung hummed. 

“Let’s all tweet it,” Mark cut in, pulling out his phone. Youngjae easily followed suit. 

“Shouldn’t we-” Jinyoung said, but he cut himself off and shook his head. “Okay.”

——

It’s quiet when Yugyeom wakes up. He’s in bed, blankets nicely pulled up to his chin. He’s smushed against his pillow and there’s a warm heat curled against his back; a quick glance tells him it’s Jackson. He’s content for the moment, a feeling he hadn’t experienced for a while, but nonetheless, it was still enjoyable. 

“Gyeomie?” Jackson asked, most likely having felt the maknae shifting around. 

“Hi,” Yugyeom muttered hoarsely, his voice rough and throat sore. 

“Good morning,” Jackson hummed, squeezing Yugyeom’s waist for a moment before releasing. 

A knock on the door caught the attention of both of the men and Jackson called for whoever it was to come in. Jaebeom pushed the door open and appeared in the doorway. 

“Hey, you’re both up, that’s good,” he smiled gently. He came closer and ran a hand through Yugyeom’s hair. 

“What’s up?” Jackson asked. 

“The company is going to do an official investigation into the claims of the guy who tweeted about you, Yugyeomie. Aghases are defending you and your hyungs believe you, always. We’re here to back you up because we trust in you and we know your character. We’ll always have your back, Gyeomie.”

The door creaked behind them and all three looked over to see Jinyoung, BamBam, Youngjae, and Mark gathered in the doorway. 

“You guys can come in, you know,” Jackson laughed. As he said that, the boys piled in, sitting on the bed and around Yugyeom and Jackson. 

“What’s up?” Jaebeom asked, wondering what the others were there to say. 

“We just wanted to tell you that we’re always going to stand by you, Yugyeom-ah,” Mark said firmly. “We believe in you.”

“Some random guy, supposedly from your school, isn’t going to play around with us like we’re toys. We will always trust you over a random source,” BamBam stated, Youngjae aggressively nodding along with him.

“We’ll be here for you, Yugyeom-ah.” Jinyoung smiled. “We will always be here for you.”

“Ah, you guys are too nice,” Yugyeom protested. He was met with a chorus of denials, his hyungs saying that this is what friends do for one another. 

“Now, let’s have a cuddle pile so we can forget all about this for the next few hours!” Youngjae declared, loud enough for all of them to hear. 

Yugyeom finally cracked a smile. 


	8. I’m sitting here, crying at my concert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yugyeom hasn't been having the best day. It all boils over at their concert later that night, all eyes on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is for AleXasJ! I had fun writing weepy Yugyeom with his caring hyungs. Solid hurt/comfort. Hope this is what you were after!
> 
> Also, these are now gonna be out like once a month cause I got a lot of things happening, but I’ll update when I can. Sorry this took so long!

Yugyeom promised himself he wouldn’t do this. He promised himself he wouldn’t cry,  _ couldn’t  _ cry, not at their concert. The weight in his stomach threatened to make him collapse and he was trying so hard not to let the tears fall from his eyes but  _ god _ , it was a challenge. Singing these songs, hearing the fans sing along, listening to his members speak to the fans with so much emotion; something in him ached and his head felt heavy. 

“Thank you guys so much!” BamBam yelled through the mics. Yugyeom’s in-ear came back to life so they could continue to perform. As he got into position, Jinyoung in the center, he felt the weight get just a little bit heavier. 

Today wasn’t a good day. As much as Yugyeom wished he could, he  _ couldn’t _ say he was enjoying it. When he’d woken up, the pit of anxiety in his stomach sat still and pulled him down. He’d tried to eat but hadn’t managed to get much down. He’d gotten ready feeling like he was about to throw up and had walked on stage feeling like he’d just been pushed down a flight of stairs. The hole in his chest tugged and tugged until he felt his face begin to tingle and his eyes began to burn. 

Yugyeom got in the center for his part, his delicate voice almost noticeably watery. He performed his way through it and slipped to the next position, knowing he only had to sing the harmonies for the rest of the song. As the song eventually came to a finish he let himself sniff a few times, the mic dangling in his hand, far enough away nobody could hear it through the speakers. 

His group members continued to joke around a bit, and while a couple things had him smiling, most things he ignored in favor of trying to stop the ball of anxiety and emotion from suffocating him. 

“What do you think, Yugyeom-ah?” Jackson’s voice called to him. 

“What?” He hadn’t been listening to them. 

“I asked what you think about aghases tonight? They’re very loud, aren’t they?”

“Ah, yes, very loud!” Yugyeom cheered, lamely pumping a fist in the air. Jackson laughed at him and even though Yugyeom knew he meant nothing by it—in fact they laughed at each other,  _ all the time _ —something in his stomach pulled tighter and the ball grew a little bigger. He desperately fought the tears back. His nose tingled and his throat burned and suddenly he felt the water pooling in his eyes begin to leak. He dropped his mic from his mouth and wiped at his eyes, but when he glanced up he could see both Jinyoung and Mark staring right at him. He tried to smile but his lip wobbled and his nose scrunched up and suddenly he choked back a little sob and brought a hand over his mouth to muffle the noise. He turned away to hide. 

It felt like hours before anything happened. 

A hand wrapped around his shoulders and another around his waist. Somebody slipped the microphone from his hand and he sniffed, a little cry leaving his mouth. He couldn’t help it. Everything was overwhelming. The noise around him increased. 

Another hand came to comfortingly settle on the back of his neck and Yugyeom instantly identified it as Jaebeom. Somebody embraced him and he dropped his head to their shoulder, scared to look up. A deep inhale of Jackson’s favorite cologne gave away who was holding him. 

“What’s wrong, Gyeomie?” Jinyoung whispered, hand tightening around his waist. “What’s got you crying?”

Yugyeom broke. He sobbed into Jackson’s shoulder, hands coming up to clutch the loose fabric of his shirt, clenched so tight his knuckles were white.

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” Jackson hushed, running a hand through his hair. He pulled back and lifted Yugyeom's head with a hand. Flushed cheeks and red-rimmed eyes stared back at him. Unbeknownst to the youngest, Jackson shared a quick, concerned glance with the others. 

“Tell us what’s wrong, won’t you?” Mark hummed, rubbing the boy’s shoulder. 

Somewhere in the background, Yugyeom could hear BamBam and Youngjae talking to the audience. They crowded around him a moment later. His hyungs hid his face from view, shielding him from the audience. 

“Sorry,” Yugyeom cried, rubbing at his eyes, rubbing his makeup. 

“Don’t be sorry,” BamBam murmured. They all surrounded him in a hug. Youngjae hummed softly in his ear. 

“Are you okay?” Jaebeom asked, showing a rare sign of affection and wiping the tears from the face of the youngest with a hand decorated with rings. The bit of mascara that had run was wiped away with another swipe. 

“I’ll be okay. I’ll tell you about it later. I just… I don’t want to disappoint the fans right now,” Yugyeom managed to get out. He went to wipe at his face but Mark stopped him. Jaebeom wiped his tears again, careful hands brushing reddened skin. 

“Okay, then tell us all later,” Jinyoung nodded, “but right now, why don’t you tell all of them that you’re alright? I’m sure they’re worried, they want you to be happy just as much as we do.”

Yugyeom choked a little. 

“It’s okay, it’s okay,” they all chorused softly, hands on him one way or another. The touch felt comfortable instead of overwhelming; an anchor to focus on instead of the crowd still surrounding them. 

“Gyeom, take a deep breath,” BamBam told him, hand squeezing his shoulder. 

Yugyeom nodded. 

“Okay, breath with me,” BamBam guided, helping the youngest calm down. He grabbed one of his hands and brought it to his own chest so Yugyeom could feel his lungs expand and contract. 

“Better?” 

“Better now,” the youngest said as he gave his hyungs another nod. They spent another few moments letting him breath, deep inhales and slow, steady exhales.

“Good,” Jinyoung hummed, and the youngest sent him a weak smile. 

“I’m going to talk to aghases. I’ll tell you guys about this later, okay? I promise. For now let’s just move past it because we can’t really talk about it.”

The others nodded, accepting it. He was right, after all. Yugyeom brought his microphone up to his mouth and gave a small smile. 

“I’m sorry aghases! You’re just too pretty tonight! I love being here, on stage and performing, with all of you! I’m so thankful you’re here to support us!” He did a little finger heart and heard the others laugh around him.

“Our Yugyeomie,” Jackson sang softly, “we’re so proud of you and how far you’ve come. Isn’t he amazing, aghases?”

The crowd screamed for him. It was deafening. 

“Listen to that, Yugyeomie,” Jaebeom whispered to him, “they’re proud of you.” Yugyeom nodded. He could make it through the concert, he knew he could. That small hiccup meant nothing. 

“You are all so precious to me,” Yugyeom spoke into his mic, and the crowd quieted down, “and I don’t know where I’d be without all of you. You’re my light, something to give me so much hope, you’re all so wonderful and kind and I can never thank you all enough for the amount of support you give us. I really love you, aghases!” There were a few spare tears in his eyes, but as he took a deep breath as soaked in the cacophonous cheering, he felt that broken part in his chest, the part of him that felt so bad earlier, begin to disappear, even if only just for the rest of the night. 

——

“Yugyeomie, are you alright?” Jackson asked, holding Yugyeom’s face in his hands, staring him in the eyes. The others were gathered around him. The roaring of the crowd, the cheering, was still rather deafening, even under the stage, but they had just finished their last song of the night and were no longer able to be seen by prying eyes. Now that they were hidden from sight, they needed to make sure Yugyeom really was okay. 

“Ah, hyung,” he protested, pulling back, but he stopped moving when he realized Jackson wasn’t going to let him go until they got an answer, or at least some kind of an explanation. 

“Are you okay?” Jackson repeated.

“Yes, hyung, I’m alright, I’m doing much better right now.” 

“Good,” Mark popped in, nodding. 

“What happened earlier? You don’t usually cry. You had us worried, is everything at home fine? Nothing lingering that caused this?” BamBam piped up. 

“No, no of course not, if something was wrong I would tell you guys. I just haven’t been having the best day, and I was really tired, and singing the sadder songs and hearing the fans sing along wasn’t really helping me. Just thinking about everything started getting to me, but I’m alright. I’ve calmed down, I’ve breathed, I’ve taken a step back and I’m okay.”

“We’re glad you feel better, but don’t think we believe that,” Mark cut in, standing a few feet away with his arms crossed, but he looked more concerned than angry. 

“To be really honest, I guess my week hasn’t been great? It hasn’t been that bad, I promise, but today was just really like the lowest point I’ve had overall. I didn’t sleep well, I haven’t been able to eat much today, I felt really anxious this morning, and I guess it all just bubbled up into this gross mess. I didn’t think I was going to cry, but then we started singing the sadder songs and the fans sang along, and suddenly it just made me a little sad. It got a little overwhelming for a moment, so then I cried. I don’t know how I can describe it any better than that. I was caught off guard by it, too. I’m sorry I worried you all and the fans, I didn’t mean to.”

“Yugyeomie, you can tell us if you’re having a bad day,” Jinyoung said firmly, resolute. 

“I know, I know, but I genuinely thought I was going to be alright. Next time, even if I think I'll be okay, I’ll tell you guys.”

“Thank you for being honest with us,” Jaebeom smiled, rubbing Yugyeom’s shoulder for a moment. “Let’s all go get dressed and we can head back to the hotel to shower. We can order some take out tonight.”

The short chorus of cheers sounded brightly, Jaebeom watching his members give each other high fives and practically bounce away to get changed. 

Yugyeom turned his head and shot his leader a smile, to which he returned, and he looked forward again. Jackson pulled him into a sideways hug as they walked and BamBam kept him occupied with conversation. He had a feeling he’d be both distracted and cheered up enough to not have to worry about feeling bad for the next few days. 

Jaebeom watched as the maknae let out a loud laugh. He hid a smile and kept on walking.


End file.
